Thursday, May 15, 2008 ++
I hate to loathe
Gray skies are gonna clear up,
Put on a happy face;
Brush off the clouds and cheer up,
Put on a happy face.
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy,
It's not your style;
You'll look so good that you'll be glad
Ya' decide to smile!
- "Put On A Happy Face" OST Bye Bye Birdie -
That yummy rice with curry didn't even managed to lift the heaviness that has set in. The Prince Caspian outing and the sumptuous sushi lunch with the best of companies remained as distant memories.
The cloud of depression still hovers.
Dammit, there's gotta be a silver lining (however cliched) that I can cling on to for my dear life.
Just hope and pray for the best.
And try to put on that happy face. 9:40 PM
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 ++
I do apologize.
I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say i'm sorry.
- Buckcherry's "Sorry" -
I now know, in my own little way of understanding, how easy it is to fall into the cradle of needing a psychiatrist of your own: It is when you feel no one else would be able to understand how you feel, or to validate your justifications and when you have never felt so alone in your life before.
I now understand why we exists in pairs and i hope that my optimism in this belief will serve me well throughout my living years.
I truly think this is a surprising year for me. Where i predict more turning points are to come. Or not. I may be done with predicting and might actually go with the flow this time.
Watching Oprah too much lately has made me wiser of two things that I also hope to carry out throughout life:
1. To be significant in life and to others. Which I hope to also couple with being successful in life.
2. To not worry about things that may or may not happen in the future. I like the Jim Carrey clip where he tells about worrying what this other guy might say and how he planned to retaliates with his comments, when he realised that it is actually just imagined scenarios in his mind. It is time and energy consuming, and seems like the beginnings of fitnah to me, so I vow to erase all that poison from my mind.
Sometimes, we get clouded by all these thoughts in our heads (just like the current RHB ad, can u tell I'm still glued to the idiot box?), that we tend to overlook the simplicity of a situation. Things like "what would people think?" for me is still a hurdle, no matter how much i think i don't really care. I should really take the time to look at things objectively, try not to get too emotional and try to see and ACCEPT the brighter side of things.
*sight* Easier said than done.
Thank God for wonderful people who would crop out of nowhere and are willing enough to share a tiny piece of their life with me.
And thank God too for hardy parents, who are up to their ears with construction matters that should not even involved them, but since they seem to take full ownership and seemed to rejoice at the ideas of traveling to out of the way, dusty hardware stores, I allow them too. I'm just there for the car ride haha.
My knee is healing well, and although it is not as strong yet, I am also grateful that this time, I'm able to enjoy all the rehab session that I can get. It is a definite improvement and seeing the knee gain its strength after each session is enough to put an extra spring in my step. But naik turun tangga still senget-senget la. But that's not gonna stop me from going to the movies tomorrow with the Double Is!
And I do apologize for being blue. Maybe I'll turn a shade sunnier next week. 9:42 PM
Tuesday, April 29, 2008 ++
Food laden
Say it again for me
Cuz I love the way it feels when you are
Tellin me that I'm
The only one who blows your mind
- Marie Digby's "Say It Again" -
They say necessity is the mother of invention. After almost a month of staying at home, trying not to overeat, I think I'm finally cracking. I need more variety in my food! Well, those Martha Stewart shows are sooo not helping in that department. So last Saturday, crutches and all, I made molten chocolate cupcakes. I kid you not. It was necessary. For my sanity. *shrugs*
Ni semua kak Martha itu punya pasal la.
The first batch didn't turn out quite like I wanted it to be. When she said Molten, i imagined that when you cut the cupcake up, the filling would flow out like an overexcited tiny cocoa volcano, resulting in a lava of hot pure chocolate core. I couldn't exactly follow Kak Martha's recipe, cuz it calls for a standalone mixer, and i only have a hand held one. You need to be able to pour stuff into a mixture that's mixing, and between the hand-held mixer, the bowl of whatever that's needed to be poured in and my crutches, I didn't think it would be an exactly safe or clean option.
So, i tried out this recipe that calls for no mixer. But there's the chocolate that needed to be melted over a low heat. And, boleh tak sementelah mencairkan chocolate ini dan juga memukul telur, my dad actually called me to ask me to help hold and twist some wire he had going down into our pipes??? So, there I was, sweating like anything, with an eye on the stove and my arms turning the stupid wire, screaming at my dad "masa nie jugak laaa nak buat!!". Silently, of course.
The cupcakes were supposed to be baked for 10-12 minutes, so i did just that. It didn't turn out as spongy as I envisioned and I got moody. But later found out it tastes awesome (if i do say so myself haha!). So, the next batch which I baked the next day, went into the oven for only 10 minutes. And a few turned out urrm, membuak..haha! But this batch is way better because it's softer and spongier and tastes stickier when warm.
Ahhh.....
Okay, so I'm not artistic. And the white stuff is actually Betty Crocker's Creamy Vanilla frosting which did not harden even after a night in the fridge, which resulted in the smearing. And it's not very pretty looking ain't it? Well, let me tell you that's the last one of the batch of 24. Ooh, look who's gone all smug now.
That afternoon also saw my foray into the world of egg white omelets. Anything PLEASE other than bread for lunch. Onions, tomatoes and cheese included...yumms!
But i think my mom prolly thought I was bored with having boring dinners at home, so she took me out Saturday night for dinner. Again, it's soo not fun trying to have fun avec crutches. Plus, the rib eye requested medium, didn't turn out as yummy as i thought it would be. Perhaps the next time I should ask for medium rare?
The next night, my brother, prompted by my sister who's like a thousand miles away, took us out to dinner at Wiliam's. I know, i know, people must be thinking...nak pergi jugakk budak nie! Hey, i needed a lamb fix after that unsatisfactory rib eye ok. So, crutches and all, a-William's we will go. I had the chicken/lamb/duck antipasto/i (this is like, the mother of all dieting suicides btw), my brother had the nasi goreng ketam, my mom had the mackerel with oysters and my dad had the lamb shank. Damage done: RM 150. The eff....??!!
But i got my numb palate restored again after such a full weekend (burp). And to top that, i just got back from eating this really yummy rojak lunch. In Serendah. That's up north Selangor for you KL-ites. Yes, when my parents let me out of this gilded cage (kononnya), i go as far away from home as possible.
My dad claims it's the best rojak in Ulu Selangor. Not that I've traversed the length and breadth of Ulu Selangor (i don't even know where it starts!), but i can vouch for it's yummy rojak mee. Apparently, the mee is made from scratch, so it's not conventionally yellow and oily. So, for anyone who wants to actually make the journey to verify this claim, take the Rawang exit from NKVE, go all the way through Rawang town, pass Kg. Sg. Choh (shoutout!) right up to Serendah until you see a Serendah signboard on your left with a mosque on your right. You just passed the rinky dink rojak warong on your left.
So, what's next on the culinary list? I'm thinking carrot cake..mmm.... 3:40 PM
Wednesday, April 23, 2008 ++
Do you know what it feels like?
I don't know how to begin
Cause the story has been told before
I will sing along i suppose
I guess it's just how it goes
- Norah Jones's "The Story" OST My Blueberry Nights -
It feels like a loong school holiday. The one in November that stretches right through December. The one where you didn't regard books as the beacon of your universe yet, and had the imagination to play camping with loadsa stuff from the kitchen. And your grandpa's blanket. And the one where major cleanup had to be done daily around 5 p.m. when you know your momma's arriving home in about 20 minutes.
Well, it almost feels like that.
Basically, all i do is get a long 8-9 hour sleep nightly, have a long leisurely bath (due to the encumbrance from the crutches), have breakfast while watching the Breakfast Show, then the daily Martha Stewart dose, Travel & Living shows up to Oprah at about 1 p.m.
Then, i start to move from my semi-permanent spot in front of the tv. This is prolly when i go for toilet breaks, a huge gulp of water, to get a book to read, or to holler instructions to whoever's at home hehe. Usually involving the drying laundry.
I have only managed to finish reading 2 books (surprisingly!). Some ditzy chick lit and one of my favourite Maeve Binchy's. I am prolly one of the few people who rereads her books but sometimes it's nice to revisit old plots and characters. Especially if you have nothing else better to do. Right now, I'm kinda immersed in Anthony Cappela's "The Food of Love'. Lotsa description about Italian cooking, makes me salivate all the time.
I've been watching what i eat lately. Well, except for the past 3 days where I had 5 pieces of bread for breakfast, and rice, rice, rice for dinner. *Sigh*.
Last week I had a tooth infection that resulted in the most painful 2 nights of my lfe. My upper lip swelled up till Ms Jolie called and asked who did them. Kidding. And since I was basically house bound, the day i had my tooth fixed was the first day that i stepped out of the house in a week. All for the trip to the dentist.
The second trip out, i ventured a little further. Tesco's. Yup, crutches and all. Didn't know that could garner so much attention. It's kinda hard to maintain a totally selamba look when you're hobbling around. I kinda contemplate sitting with an upturned kopiah in front of me. Thought i might as well get some profit out of my current situation. But my parents would have been horrified.
Other than that, I'm actually enjoying my break tremendously. I loovedd lounging around, doing abso-freaking-lutely NOTHING. It's been nice. And, daytime tv rocks my socks!And i don't miss work at all! Although, my mom thinks my brain's getting rusty from all these sitting at home business cuz I don't seem to be getting any of her jokes, hmmm...
But i've been blessed with lovely news. I'm a proud owner of something purchased last year and my portfolio just had another jump. Alhamdulillah.
Till the next time i switch this pc on...ta!
p/s: One of the joys of daytime tv: a very nearly naked Harrison Ford! 3:45 PM
Monday, March 31, 2008 ++
Sorry for the courtesy
I believe the world is burning to the ground
Oh well I guess we're gonna find out
Let's see how far we've come
Let's see how far we've come
- Matchbox Twenty’s “How Far We’ve Come” -
I missed writing. Thanks Nerrs for the prod.
I’ve been coming back home late from work the past week. All due to the impending surgery and the fact that I can never say no properly. Other than that, promises were made and broken. Oh, how fragile our words are.
I can’t wait for my month-long rest to kick in. Roll on April. I’ll prolly be drug induced the whole time, but it sure beats the aches that I’m increasingly feeling lately.
I owe a few people some explanations, and a few of them owe me theirs. Let’s hope we get these sorted out soonish.
I found a lost removed cousin online. And I don’t know what to do with that information.
I wanna talk summore, but I can barely open my eyes today. Plus, there’s work to do. Oh yeah, forgot about that.
I hate running on sluggish. Can we get a java jolt in the afternoon please?
***
Added on after the afternoon java jolt:
It’s amazing when you see someone you’re attracted to giving you an expression that you normally give out…
Can I call it kismet?
Or just gas?
Ah, but a smile still pastes itself on these lips… 11:09 AM
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