Making faces at the ceiling
keraguan ini bukanlah padamu
perasaan hati masih rindu
kekalutan ini hanyalah untukku
tercari-cari bayanganmu
tak sanggup aku kehilangan...
- Anuar Zain's "Perpisahan" OST Cinta -
I hate it when i get flustered in front of a good looking person. Granted, aku sorang je kot yang think he/she is good looking, but i get flustered and always end up blurting out the wrong things. Eeee..so the malu!
For example, this dude came up to me at the photocopy machine, just when I was commenting about the rise of a new building near ours to his colleague. Apparently, he heard the last part of my comment. Our conversation went like this:
Him: Why? Are you thinking of buying an apartment?
Me: No, the building has gotten big.
What i actually meant to say was,
"Hey, didn't you realise that that building near us just about sprouted wings and poised to fly? It's gotten so damn tinggi! Cepat kan??? I didn't realise it all this while..did you?
Yeah, well, that was just reduced to a short, unintelligible sentence.
grr.
And then i turned, and like what I always do after an embarassing encounter, make faces at the ceiling. Which is usually dangerous, because you may never know who's looking.
The other day, i stepped into the lift, and my Numero Dos was in it, looking all of the authority she is, big hair and all. I was actually on the phone with my mom, and as i stepped into the lift, I totally lost my train of thoughts. And, ended up ending the conversation abruptly with a "I'll talk to you later ma", and smiled sheepishly at her.
sheee..that was embarassing.
On the dance front, everything's turning out fine. I'm getting a good workout running after everyone. However, yesterday, when we were trying out a risque move and I wondered out loud if this would be appropriate for an internal event, the trainer lost his train of thoughts and we were then back to doing simple non-risque moves. Heh heh. I do have a reputation also to jaga :p
Is it just me or my imagination? But why is it that America's Next Top Model red-headed participants seemed so sedate? I always associate redheads with fiery tempers and some kind of attitude *perhaps from reading too much into Anne Shirley and her Green Gables*, but the ones I saw, are definitely the ones that don't really shine. Er, actually, i can't really comment, cuz I've only started following this season's episodes :p But I expected a lot more from Molly Sue. Tsk.
A friend got a certificate of achievement in White Water Rafting in Sabah. That just got me to thinking that there's actually so many things that can be done in Malaysia, if you're the outdoor type, and looking for an adventure. The Borneo island seemed like haven to nature-thrill-seekers. Maybe its a good idea to think inwards and start planning for adventure-like trips into the country. Well, if only I'm seriously into these kind of things. But harmless activities like snorkelling pun I've never done, so we'll see la k how far this train of thoughts will take me. Visit Malaysia Year 2007 is a good encouragement tho.
Am gonna have dinner, watch Cinta and karaoke my heart out with my favourite dentist and her posse later on. Can't wait!
Thursday, November 30, 2006 / 3:37 PM
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/ 9:01 AM
Letdown
You say,
I should do it differently.
I don't,
Necessarily agree.
Stand up!
Sit down!
Be nice!
Did ya hear me ask for your advice?
- Kelly Osbourse's "Shut Up" -
I think i just have to get this down.
How Not To Be a Leader.
1. First, and therefore, most foremost, never, NEVER, never, reprimand your sub-ordinate in front of his or her underlings. It's just disrespectful, shows your incompetence at understanding the subject matter, and shows that, heck, you actually don't really care about what's going on. Plus, may I also say it makes you look stupid? Just like what you call us.
2. Solutions despite scoldings. I can take scoldings if there's a solution in the picture. You do NOT just scold blindly and not provide solutions or advice. That just makes you a stupid leader. Honestly. I don't care how many stupids or dumbs I'm going to throw you today.
3. Listen to what you actually say sometimes. You'll find that its either crap, bullshit, or some great advice that you fail to take yourself.
4. Instead of pushing responsibilities to others, why don't you try to face the hurdles yourself? Again, that makes you incompetent, and irresponsible to the team you're heading. And, not to mention just plain dumb. Because, even the staff who's job is delivering letters could see that you're avoiding your duties. It's pretty obvious when you claim you're on sick leave, and yet turn up at the office, but refuse to go to meetings. It will actually make you understand what's going on, y'know going to these management meetings, instead of shooting in the dark and giving out kononnya great advice and reprimands in an even kononnya great English to us lowly beings.
5. Last, but not least. Our English level is not VERY BAD as how you carelessly mentioned. I was greatly insulted, and I bet, so were some of us. Some of us here have great command of the language, and I do know that although some of them don't speak the language on a daily basis, they are able to make themselves understand and be understood. Maybe, you should take a walk once in a while, and talk to them then you'll know. But of course, you never do.
We are only as great as how our leaders make us out to be. And you, are doing a great job at letting all our efforts go to waste.
I miss an ex-boss I used to have. His idea of being a boss is to bring in new ideas and trying to make us all see the bigger picture. He would not concentrate on tiny details, prefering to let his sub-ordinates handle them, because as it is, these subordinates are the ones in frequent interactions with us staff. Plus, he was generous, courteous, and I like how he always makes a point to come to any of our internal events if invited, even if only to stop for a cup of coffee. Berbudi bahasa. Bigger plus, whenever he comes to work on Saturdays right up till 5 p.m. plus.
Oh, and btw, the way you ungkit about the lunches you paid for whenever we come for overtime work on Saturdays? That's just plain crude, man. That's so not on.
Oh, and the way you scheduled a meeting right before you leave for a long vacation to reprimand us on whatever we're doing? Just plain pengecut trait. Best of all, when you leave out an issue, and mention it later in an email? Plain dumb.
I so do not like my current boss, can't you tell? Up to the point of pouring my heart out here, which of course, is detrimental to my position.
And to think that I used to say nice things about you despite what other people say. Tsk. I'm only human after all, you cross me the wrong way, you get la whatever treatment I choose to give you.
You say,
I should do it differently.
I don't,
Necessarily agree.
Stand up!
Sit down!
Be nice!
Did ya hear me ask for your advice?
- Kelly Osbourse's "Shut Up" -
I think i just have to get this down.
How Not To Be a Leader.
1. First, and therefore, most foremost, never, NEVER, never, reprimand your sub-ordinate in front of his or her underlings. It's just disrespectful, shows your incompetence at understanding the subject matter, and shows that, heck, you actually don't really care about what's going on. Plus, may I also say it makes you look stupid? Just like what you call us.
2. Solutions despite scoldings. I can take scoldings if there's a solution in the picture. You do NOT just scold blindly and not provide solutions or advice. That just makes you a stupid leader. Honestly. I don't care how many stupids or dumbs I'm going to throw you today.
3. Listen to what you actually say sometimes. You'll find that its either crap, bullshit, or some great advice that you fail to take yourself.
4. Instead of pushing responsibilities to others, why don't you try to face the hurdles yourself? Again, that makes you incompetent, and irresponsible to the team you're heading. And, not to mention just plain dumb. Because, even the staff who's job is delivering letters could see that you're avoiding your duties. It's pretty obvious when you claim you're on sick leave, and yet turn up at the office, but refuse to go to meetings. It will actually make you understand what's going on, y'know going to these management meetings, instead of shooting in the dark and giving out kononnya great advice and reprimands in an even kononnya great English to us lowly beings.
5. Last, but not least. Our English level is not VERY BAD as how you carelessly mentioned. I was greatly insulted, and I bet, so were some of us. Some of us here have great command of the language, and I do know that although some of them don't speak the language on a daily basis, they are able to make themselves understand and be understood. Maybe, you should take a walk once in a while, and talk to them then you'll know. But of course, you never do.
We are only as great as how our leaders make us out to be. And you, are doing a great job at letting all our efforts go to waste.
I miss an ex-boss I used to have. His idea of being a boss is to bring in new ideas and trying to make us all see the bigger picture. He would not concentrate on tiny details, prefering to let his sub-ordinates handle them, because as it is, these subordinates are the ones in frequent interactions with us staff. Plus, he was generous, courteous, and I like how he always makes a point to come to any of our internal events if invited, even if only to stop for a cup of coffee. Berbudi bahasa. Bigger plus, whenever he comes to work on Saturdays right up till 5 p.m. plus.
Oh, and btw, the way you ungkit about the lunches you paid for whenever we come for overtime work on Saturdays? That's just plain crude, man. That's so not on.
Oh, and the way you scheduled a meeting right before you leave for a long vacation to reprimand us on whatever we're doing? Just plain pengecut trait. Best of all, when you leave out an issue, and mention it later in an email? Plain dumb.
I so do not like my current boss, can't you tell? Up to the point of pouring my heart out here, which of course, is detrimental to my position.
And to think that I used to say nice things about you despite what other people say. Tsk. I'm only human after all, you cross me the wrong way, you get la whatever treatment I choose to give you.
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Monday, November 27, 2006 / 9:10 AM
Would you?
We'll do it all
every thing
on our own
we don't need
anything
or anyone
if i lay here,
if i just lay here,
would you lie with me,
and just forget the world
- Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" -
This happened to be my all-time favourite song currently. Well, this and Ning's "Drama!". If I were getting married anytime soon, and have those video thingy going on, this would definitely be the soundtrack. This, or Dewa's "Qasidah Cinta".
I'm not affected by these end of year weddings (I have 6 of those to go to, btw). Although, this did tug my heartstrings a little:
We'll do it all
every thing
on our own
we don't need
anything
or anyone
if i lay here,
if i just lay here,
would you lie with me,
and just forget the world
- Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" -
This happened to be my all-time favourite song currently. Well, this and Ning's "Drama!". If I were getting married anytime soon, and have those video thingy going on, this would definitely be the soundtrack. This, or Dewa's "Qasidah Cinta".
I'm not affected by these end of year weddings (I have 6 of those to go to, btw). Although, this did tug my heartstrings a little:
Kidding, really.
I'm just soo smitten with this pc that i've decided to show off a little hehe..At the expense of my poor technicians.. :p
Twas just a mood swing earlier on that was easily remedied by a new cute layout..I'm all out to tackle the world again! never mind the wistful wish to view the wondrous ocean..*sigh*
So, on the list are *insya-Allah*:
1. Deepa/X-Mas celebrations - i'm dancing again, but this time we'll be taught by this dude from the Temple of Fine Arts, as opposed to belasah-ing our way to "Bole Chudiyan" last year. Practice just over, and methinks, this year, we'll have something different ;)
2. French classes at the IDFR - IDFR stands for Institute of Diplomatic & Foreign Relations, and they offer language classes at no fee. Interested? Beginner French will start on 8th January 2007 (check out website for further details)
3. YKLS - This came up shortly after a uni friend added me on Friendster. This is something that I would like to try my hand at, or voice for that matter. I'm not all that confident actually after looking at the criteria, but i think i'ma regret it if i don't at least try. Although, if i succeed at this, i won't have any time for French classes. How do u say dang in French?
4. The 6 aforementioned weddings - Starting with my UK roomie's best friend's (also on the same night, an old bus-mate, but since i already said yes to the former, so, i'll either owe the latter a huge apology or present), then a fellow (ex)prefect, then the dearest cousin who's going to tie the knot with a mini celebrity, then the dear buddy whom i went on a spa outing few sundays back *did i mention the spa was heavenly???*, and lastly, my beste friende who'll be tying the eternal knot...think i'll cry at this one? hmm..
5. Pengapit duty at best friend's future hubby's do - This, i expect to be kacang..walk, walk, walk, kipas, kipas sikit, lap-lap peluh sikit, and try not to overshadow the bride with glamorous smile. Righto.
Roll in the new week/month.
****
Do you remember? I still do.. It was a dark and stormy night, and you barely knew me...but what you did, will remain a very, very fond, unforgettable memory for me, and that was when i started wishing for something I couldn't have with you..I wish you all the best, and all the happiness in life, among your loved ones and those who truly deserves you..And no matter what, you'll still have a tiny place here, very near me..
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Saturday, November 25, 2006 / 12:41 PM
in the midst of a renovation. will be back when the new place is done!
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006 / 9:50 AM
Brain washed out
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
- My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay" -
Funny….My True Sign according to yet another blog accessory is this:
When it should actually be this:
I have this whacked out theory that I would explain to anybody who’s willing to listen or had the unfortunate fate to be forced to be my audience, and all of whom will tell me to stop over-analysing: My mother had a child before me, a daughter who didn’t make it to this world, and within a year, she had me. Technically, that would make me the second child, better yet the Middle Child. Therefore, I assumed that there’s actually inborn middle child traits within me. However, aptly, I was a bidan terjun anak sulung. Hence, that prolly explains how twisted I can be, with middle child tendencies masquerading as a responsible, practical, no-nonsense first-born. Being an Aquarian, I think makes it worse. For others, I mean. *Disclaimer: I love being an Aquarian!*.
Think I’m overanalyzing?
Yesterday, a major part of the division got our brains washed out. Well, i'm sure that's the intention, but hearing the laughter and jokes we all made right after that meeting, i didn't think that that objective was achieved. I supposed the decision i made about coming back to work on the third day of Raya was a life-saving one cuz I was able to clear a big portion of my pending work. Yang sebenarnya, i didn't want to break my record of not showing up on 3rd day Raya for 3 years in a row hehehe. Altho, Friday was a day well-spent..at the Mall! *gulps* The feeling of guilt did surface a few times, but was conveniently suppresed by good bargains :)I've not gone shopping for a long time, so that kinda flexed the old skills of being kemut but trying to get what i want at the same time.
Ed: That was actually written the week after Raya..what follows is current rant.
***
I'm tired. Dead tired.
And I can't actually pinpoint the single source of all this tiredness, but i think after some crappy, emo/angst filled weekend, plus the disappointment at the choir competition and co-ordinating the hosting of a big Raya do, i'm all washed out. Brain, body and soul.
And, that's despite the spa session I had with Rey last Sunday at the heavenly Khareyana Spa in PJ.
I need a break, and tho I'll be on leave tomorrow, i think what i would really love is a session of an all-day staring out to the open sea fiesta. I miss the ocean. I miss looking out to a wide expanse of space, be it green, blue, or brown.
As much as i loved being in the city, i can safely say that it's becoming stifling, and I'm not even smack in the middle of the Golden Triangle anymore! The only pure relaxation i get nowadays are solitary rides on Rapid KL busses. I love scenery can't you tell? Any kind, even though i prolly pass by them every day for the past year or so. Brickfields shops notwithstanding.
And lately, i've been feeling crappy. Which prolly explains my absence to Nerrs' (soooo sorry dear, you didn't deserve that but i also had another engagement at that time) and Bobby's wedding.
I need a break. I need a change of pace. I need newness in my life.
Unfortunately, when a dear friend proposed something last week, i chickened out, and took the easy way out by turning the blame unto others.
And, you know when you think you have all the demands of your life all listed out neatly in your head? Well, i think mine just got deleted. I don't know what I want anymore.
Although, a trip out to Cherating would so be welcomed right now.
Oh, but I do love my newly-installed pc. Alhamdulillah, this is actually pure joy in all chaos, after a year plus of working with an old hardware with an even older software. My silver lining.
Prolly, that's what prompted this burst of update.
Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor?
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out
- My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay" -
Funny….My True Sign according to yet another blog accessory is this:
| Your True Sign Is Sagittarius |
 |
When it should actually be this:
| Your True Sign Is Aquarius |
 |
I have this whacked out theory that I would explain to anybody who’s willing to listen or had the unfortunate fate to be forced to be my audience, and all of whom will tell me to stop over-analysing: My mother had a child before me, a daughter who didn’t make it to this world, and within a year, she had me. Technically, that would make me the second child, better yet the Middle Child. Therefore, I assumed that there’s actually inborn middle child traits within me. However, aptly, I was a bidan terjun anak sulung. Hence, that prolly explains how twisted I can be, with middle child tendencies masquerading as a responsible, practical, no-nonsense first-born. Being an Aquarian, I think makes it worse. For others, I mean. *Disclaimer: I love being an Aquarian!*.
Think I’m overanalyzing?
Yesterday, a major part of the division got our brains washed out. Well, i'm sure that's the intention, but hearing the laughter and jokes we all made right after that meeting, i didn't think that that objective was achieved. I supposed the decision i made about coming back to work on the third day of Raya was a life-saving one cuz I was able to clear a big portion of my pending work. Yang sebenarnya, i didn't want to break my record of not showing up on 3rd day Raya for 3 years in a row hehehe. Altho, Friday was a day well-spent..at the Mall! *gulps* The feeling of guilt did surface a few times, but was conveniently suppresed by good bargains :)I've not gone shopping for a long time, so that kinda flexed the old skills of being kemut but trying to get what i want at the same time.
Ed: That was actually written the week after Raya..what follows is current rant.
***
I'm tired. Dead tired.
And I can't actually pinpoint the single source of all this tiredness, but i think after some crappy, emo/angst filled weekend, plus the disappointment at the choir competition and co-ordinating the hosting of a big Raya do, i'm all washed out. Brain, body and soul.
And, that's despite the spa session I had with Rey last Sunday at the heavenly Khareyana Spa in PJ.
I need a break, and tho I'll be on leave tomorrow, i think what i would really love is a session of an all-day staring out to the open sea fiesta. I miss the ocean. I miss looking out to a wide expanse of space, be it green, blue, or brown.
As much as i loved being in the city, i can safely say that it's becoming stifling, and I'm not even smack in the middle of the Golden Triangle anymore! The only pure relaxation i get nowadays are solitary rides on Rapid KL busses. I love scenery can't you tell? Any kind, even though i prolly pass by them every day for the past year or so. Brickfields shops notwithstanding.
And lately, i've been feeling crappy. Which prolly explains my absence to Nerrs' (soooo sorry dear, you didn't deserve that but i also had another engagement at that time) and Bobby's wedding.
I need a break. I need a change of pace. I need newness in my life.
Unfortunately, when a dear friend proposed something last week, i chickened out, and took the easy way out by turning the blame unto others.
And, you know when you think you have all the demands of your life all listed out neatly in your head? Well, i think mine just got deleted. I don't know what I want anymore.
Although, a trip out to Cherating would so be welcomed right now.
Oh, but I do love my newly-installed pc. Alhamdulillah, this is actually pure joy in all chaos, after a year plus of working with an old hardware with an even older software. My silver lining.
Prolly, that's what prompted this burst of update.
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