A dream that will need, All the love you can give...


Climb ev'ry mountain
Ford ev'ry stream
Follow ev'ry rainbow
'Till you find your dream

- OST Sound of Music -



when i read Cik Kieli's travelogue about her visit to the Sound of Music country, suddenly, the lyrics "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" bounced in my head and rings in my ears...hmm, must get a dvd copy of that one...

I have finally finished Harry Potter! excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (in Bill and Ted's voices...) huh, tak kenal bill and ted?! oh well, imagine wayne in wayne's world....

wow..! a-maayyyy-zingg! the first half was kinda slow, but it picked up pace by the second halpf and i was actually willing myself to read faster to know what's gonna happen next... was worth all the trouble...btw, another addition to my list of favourite characters would be Ginny Weasley...why? "read the book, you must.." says Yoda....

*happy sigh*

and the paycheck is in, so it's time to get a new book! yaay!!! never mind that the Scarpetta mystery is waiting to be finished..hmm, what'll it be...some fluff like the second shopaholic book (fluff, tak fluff...i've been dying to get my hands on that one! ) or something serious...like, what? hmm...it's time to scavenge the bookstores..muahahahhahaha! (evil laughter..)

On Saturday i went back to my secondary school on some personal business and was greeted with a pleasant surprise..waaah, got fountain already? and i thought only personal homes are investing in those neo-tropical/balinese fountain thingy...and i was staring at one of those contraption lying smack in the middle of school...looks really nice, but i bet they wouldn't let the students sit on the edges...and if i were still in school, i'd be the one telling those kids off...muahahahahah (another evil laughter..) dunnolaa...this power-hungry element of me or (to reassure myself of my supposed cool-ness as opposed to the actual, stand-out geekiness..) the need to look different, hence the need for the prefect outfit...god! was i sad or what?! hehehe, nevertheless, would not have trade the experience and memories it for the world...

anyways, then made my way to Kampung Baru in KL to watch the inter-merchant bank games...my bank kicked ass! hah! met my cousin who's working for a rival bank, and he looked pooped...asked him "menang ke?" ..."kalah.." sheepish smile...heheheh...woohoo! but only managed to stay for a few minutes then made my way back to my previous alma mater on the same personal business reasons...

met up with one of my finance lecturers, and had a long chat with him...as always...i find that it's easier for me to tell him my problems and to ask for opinions...he never really gives an answer, instead merely states his opinions...and leave it to me to weigh out my own decisions...so, the topic that day was "To have a life full of experience"..hehehe...he told me that at my young age i should be savouring life, experiencing whatever i could, and to really enjoy my youth...worry about work later, he says..of course you have to work later but live in the present and make each day and each experience new and memorable...travel at every opportunity and discover new places...told me of some of his experiences when he was younger...at least, when you're old in your rocking chair, you can tell your grandchildren.."eh, nenek kan, pernah pegi sana tau" oklaa, not in soo much words..but that's the gist of our conversation...all these after i told him that i wanted a life with more quality time for myself, and that my current one doesn't provide me much time for myself....

so, walked out of his room with this new mission and renewed strength...i can do it! i'm gonna grab every opportunity there is to enrich my life! hmm.....hope this lasts.... ;p

Musings on a late, cold, Friday afternoon..


All of those rainy days
Spend ya lifetime tryin to wash away
Until the sun shines and I see your face
Smile at me, smile at me

- Mary J Blige's "Rainy Days" featuring Ja-Rule -


it's funny how it seems to rain everyday lately when just the other day, news reports were going on about how we will be experiencing a dry spell till August..just another one of Allah's offering to us...alhamdulillah, hujan berkat tu...

hmm...a new blogger? oh well, i don't think it's gonna affect me in any way..besides, all i do here is write crap, check out my guestbook, write crap, post lyrics...and write more crap! hehehe...a venue to channel all my beloved crap...

i have been meaning to post some things, but time and workload has been deterring me from doing that...plus, sometimes, you just don't have anything in your head at the particular time u wanna post something...right then...

met up with an old friend from school...a chinese girl who goes by the name YC and has one of the sexiest body i've seen...bumped into her in the lrt..(i think the lrt is a great place to have a reunion, i've met soo many of my old friends there!)...anyways, she gave me her card, said she's working for an advertising company now...looked at her card, hmm..she goes by the name shereen now?! sheesh....hehehe, i've had fun with her in school...a fellow prefect and classmate, she was always game for anything, was very outgoing, and seems to be able to get along with almost everyone..even the shyones with the big tudung in class...one thing that i like about her is her straightforwardness...selambe only....she'll just say what she wants without worrying what others would think of her...and being in a girls' school, that's actually saying a lot...

haha..i remembered in Form 5, this tomboyish senior walks into our chemistry clasroom to pay a visit to the Chemistry Teacher, and my friend here just spun around on her seat and said "omigod, it's her...eh, i used to like her..so handsome! " hahahhaha....and there's one time, this tomboyish junior started to pay some attention to her..i told her that i kept on bumping into that junior everywhere i go..the next day, she proceeded to follow me everywhere i go in hope that i bump into that junior...that was hilarious..of course, one of life's little ironies, we didn't come across that junior at all! that's not to say that she favours members of her own sex..this is one girl who has gone out with multiple races guys...malay, indian, chinese...hmm, wonder who's her current squeeze now?

got an email from an old friend, su-li..su-li, if you're reading this, be prepared to be humiliated! hahaha...no laa...su-li was one of my bus mates and classmate...as we had to come from subang all the way to pj to go to school, she became my bus-soulmate..haha..she was the one person who taught me christmas songs can be sung at any time of the day, any time of the year! waiting for the bus was so much fun when she's around cuz she's soo wacky and loud! aa, but underneath it all, she's one hell of a brainy girl..currently doing a double degree in law and econs (or sumthing like that) in the land of oz...

i've finished "Tuesdays with Morrie"..kak idlan was right..one word: excellent! ...well, reading that book awakens this desire to be an educator in me..hmm..possible ke? we'll see...i find it amazing..here, this old man is spouting out his "bite-sized philosophies" and how he perceives life and lives out his dying days...he doesn't preach, he's not pulling you into his type of lifestyle..he was merely stating the obvious facts he has discovered...a very good read...

hehehe, i picked that book actually to complement my Harry Potter purchase and ended up finishing it first..still ploughing through it...i only read it at night after coming home from work, but always tergendala due to unforeseen circumstances...i saw this lady sitting on the lrt reading the book on her way back from the office..i would do that i guess if i had bought the paperback version..but i would not subject my beloved copy to any harmful environment...what if it gets smudged?! (hysterical...)..aaa, my prreeccioussss....

hm.., my boss is currently engaged in one of his favorite pastimes..looking at the next- door hotel's swimming pool for any naughty activities through the binoculars...hehehe..naughty, that one..another pastime of his is playing the solitaire game on his pc...last week, our HR vice-president caught one of us looking at the solitaire screen intensely...next thing i know, all our solitaire games have been taken off the pc...heheheh....my boss was grumbling, of course...until later, he found that there's a solitaire game built in the Bloomberg screen in the dealing room..laughed his cheeky laugh and said, well, they can't take away this one! last seen: staring intently at the Bloomberg screen on the pretense of reading the news update...

my colleague commented that since the solitaire's been taken off, everyone seems so much more relaxed and the environment a little bit more cheerful...huh? oh well, smart move then..

Confessions of the Crazed Fan


Sometimes I give myself the CREEPS
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm CRACKING UP
Am I just PARANOID?
Or am I just STONED

- Green Day's Basket Case -



Let's give a round of applause to..

The Girl Who Survived her PKMC Exams!

(betcha think i'm gonna say The Boy Who Survived..hehehe..coming up...)

woohoo! am over and done with those exams! whether or not i passed those papers will remain a mystery for another agonizing 8 weeks! (i think...i may have messed up my deadlines again..the last time i did that, i nearly missed an interview..whoops..) but! i have made up my mind, that if i actually flunk any one of the papers, i am actually gonna sit for it again! why?! when all these while i've been whining and telling myself to purposely flunk those papers?! well, i guess it's to prove to myself that i can do those exams, and i have the ability to get the license...at this point of moment, you may think i am very much like a schizophrenic dodo who changes her mind every 2 seconds (judging by previous entries..) but fussy and fickle has been permanently etched on my forehead, not unlike the thunderbolt-shaped scar on my dear Harry Potter's forehead..

Harry Potter you say? aa...more of that to come..hehehe...

alhamdulillah..i find that i could do those papers...i really can't say that i've aced them, but i think i handled them pretty well...unfortunately, one paper might face the doom of repetition, but as i've said before, i don't mind doing them again...hmm, u might never know when this license thing might come in handy...so, the 3rd paper on saturday went ok...then there was a 2 hour break in between the next one which was supposed to start at 2 p.m....so , i went to withdraw some cash at the atm and to fill up my petrol, and get a bite to eat...why did i do all that? not that you would really want to know, but i'm gonna tell you anyways...

Didn't you know that the latest Harry Potter book was released on that very day at exactly 7.01 a.m (in a hushed voiced)? was i very excited? oh yes...was there a mad rush that morning where almost 700 people gathered outside of Kinokuniya to get a hold of the latest adventure? you betcha! i was parking my car in the morning before my exam when i heard this deejay interviewing this lady who had this exhausted voice on air on her encounter that morning...apparently, the crowd had gathered as early as 3 a.m. in front of KLCC and when the door burst open at 6.00a.m, there was a mad rush of people who made their way to the top of KLCC where Kinokuniya is situated to be among the first to get a hold of the book...mind you, there were people of all ages, and the escalator was not functioning yet...(the cash and the petrol were both to ensure a speedy and smooth journey to get the book as well..)

Had i not be sitting for an exam that Saturday morning i would have been one of them to rush up those stairs in my trusty sneakers...however, as i have pre-ordered the book about a month ago, i knew that it was only a matter of time before i could read about one of my favorite heros again...i had made absolutely sure that i would be getting my book, and that they will keep it for 7days..(this was done by going to the info counter, checking on the policy and making them repeat it twice to me) so, it was actually a matter of discipline...to withstand the temptations of running off from the exams and joining the throng of people at the bookstores..

unfortunately, by midday, i was attacked by this anxiety and my stomach had began to clench and unclenched as if in anticipation of something exciting...therefore, i made a conscious decision to walk out of the exam hall early in order to get my book...if i seem like a person who is totally irresponsible of her actions, future, thus her own good, then so be it...but i just couldn't contain myself any longer...

so, at about 3 p.m. about an hour after the exam started, after checking and rechecking AND absolutely sure that in no other way can i change my answer to ensure that I pass with a 100%...i gathered my stationery, raised my hand, handed in my paper, and bolted out of the hall...walking as fast as i could breathlessly, and drove off to KLCC...don't worry, i'm coming!

i didn't know what came over me but as i made my way to town, i was seized by this paranoia...i thought all the cars whizzing alongside me was gonna go and get my book! i was literally screaming " Get away from my book!!" i picked up speed when i realised that they all seem to be heading towards KLCC! upon arriving, i picked the first available parking spot nearest to the exit and walked as fast as i could towards the bookstore....man, that was a test of patience...of all the days in the week, Saturday afternoon is the worst time to be in KLCC...i had to dodge lovey-dovey couples, elbowed a few gawking tourists and nearly knock down a few painfully slow lepakers in my pursuit....

Thank God there weren't any long lines of crazy fans i predicted there'd be...hmm...so i dashed in, made my way to the info counter and stood there grinning like an idiot, with the blue receipt in my hand..the guy behind the counter had a face that went " aah, but of course" upon recognition of the blue slip, and tap a copy that has been lying on the counter before i even got there...i looked up at him pleadingly and said " can i have a new one, please? " he smiled knowingly and understandingly and handed over MY VERY OWN COPY OF Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix...

* cue big, relieved sigh*

all's well with the world again...i then joined the queue at the cashier counter..then i saw it..the sign that says "20% off the Order of the Phoenix with a purchase of any item at any price" or something like that..cheh! why didn't i see that earlier? its too late to back out from the queue now, and i soo badly wanted to go home and start reading...when the cashier saw my lone book, she repeated the offer again..i was tempted to decline when she pulled out this container filled with a bunch of pens and bookmarks and proclaimed in this high-pitched voice "this is our suggestions"..hmm...some lonely pens..bookmarks are useful...what?! Snape on them?! NO WAY! hehehe..observe the loyalty and adoration to the young, scarred hero...

so, made my way through the store again to pick my second item...instead of getting something cheap just to get the discount, i went ahead and pick up a book i can barely afford menjelang end of the month nie...Tuesdays with Morrie..but, heck, i thought it would be a good investment and i've always wanted to read that one anyways..so, what was supposed to be a cheaper purchase turned out to be an even more expensive one...just because...

I NOW HAVE MY HARRY POT-POT BACK!

hehehhe...can't wait to go home and finish it!

Huh? But why..?


Why do you build me up (Build me up)
Buttercup baby just to
let me down (Let me down)
And mess me around
And then worst of all (Worst of all)
You never call baby
When you say you will (Say you will)
But I love you still
I need you (I need you)
More than anyone darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (Build me up)
Buttercup
Don't break my heart

- The Foundations' "Build Me Up Buttercup" ost There's Something About Mary -


*sigh* why hasn't thou returneth my calls..?

You know how when sometimes some things just seem to go your way...and then suddenly..FLOP...they all run in different directions...? Guess its a sign to remind us of the Greatness of Allah and the uncertainties of life...

I had a pretty dandy morning enough...i got home late last night as a result of a soft launch celebration at this hotel in KL of a local skincare line developed by my friends, of which i am proud to say i am attached as a stockist..ehehhehe...Nadia Skincare, The Herbal Skincare Product....anyone interested? get in touch aiight...anyways, got home late, then prepared to go to bed, when i suddenly remembered that my mom had wanted me to clear my bedroom as the painter is coming in the morning to repaint the walls...yikes! and i have a lot of stuff around..some valuable documents lying around that i haven't gotten to file yet...but i was dead sleepy and had wanted to salvage the precious hours of the night that i decided to, maybe, just maybe, take an MC tomorrow to clean up the room and attend to some unfinished matters i have been putting off for a few weeks...

Then i remembered...both of my bosses are on leave..the superior one on a holiday (Europe, no less!), the second to superior one have minor complications regarding her pregnancy that her doctor has granted her 2 weeks MC...2nd Madam sorta promised that she would be in, so i could take the day off and also Friday to study for Saturday...but kesiannlaa...so, i thought i'd give her the day off and ask her if she can make it on Friday to cover my position..the original agreement..so, i dragged myself out to work, bleary eyes and heavy steps...but not before getting yelled at by mom who discovered i hadn't done any clearing up to the room...i was so totally zonked that i didn't even put on my contact lenses and instead, put on my senget-ed old specs and this discreetly-torn plain blue baju kurung...i didn't even wash my hair the night before!

was feeling very yucky and greasy (influences from the HAIR..) that i decided to do something i have never done before, never even dream of doing before, ever in my life...i walked over to the saloon near my office and got a wash and a blow...sheesh...i feel so bimbo-ish and ditzy, but seriously, i don' think i can endure the whole day with yucky hair...surprisingly, it was quite invigorating...they massaged the scalp, the neck, and the arms while shampooing your hair so energetically that you will feel your muscles relaxing...was quite ready to face the day after the whole 1 hour ordeal (!!)..they asked me how would i like my hair to be blown..hmm, what choices! straight or curly?! i went with big curls...felt soo like those leisure ladies who have their hair done everytime they go out of their house with not a strand out of place...turns out that my second boss couldn't make it to work anyways, so it was a good thing i came to work today..was feeling very self-coscious about the hairdo but buat dunno only...the other colleagues were woohoo-ing tho'..arrgh!! so malu...*cringe*

work was ok...but mid-morning, suddenly, i got this shock...my other boss was talking to the trainee about greener turf..huh? apparently, this trainee has accepted an offer at an insurance firm and will be leaving next week! see how things suddenly just got out of hand? i was counting on him to take over my duties if and when i leave...i dunno when but i had planned it to be soon as i could see that he is very competent and intelligent (albeit annoying ;p)...i had wanted to leave the bank knowing that there is someone who's able to handle the job and is very interested and committed (guilty of not possessing those qualitites..) part of the reason is that my 2nd boss will be expecting her next child somewhere in January and is bound to take a long leave...

now...i feel sooo obligated NOT to leave...there's only 3 of us left, and if i leave, and she goes on maternity leave, that'll leave only one..the superior one...she already has more things than she can handle on her hands, and she has to do all these petty things too?! i don't think soo...besides, she is temperamental and things are bound to be flying around here (hehe, not really laa...) sheesh, why did things turn out this way...is this a sign for me? am i supposed to stay here? is this where i really belong? how do i know for sure?...

am feeling very sleepy now...dunno why but just can't wait for the weekend to roll in..well, after the exams tho'...

(huh? we're having exams?! sheesh! )

Snap, Cracke, Pop...Crush?


Why do birds sing so gay
And lovers await the break of day
Why do they fall in love
Why does the rain fall from up above
Why do fools fall in love
Why do they fall in love
Love is a losing game
Love can be a shame I
know of a fool, you see
For that fool is me
Tell me why, tell me why
Why do birds sing so gay
And lovers await the break of day
Why does my heart skip a crazy beat
For I know it will reach defeat
Tell me why, tell me why
Why do fools fall in love
Tell me why, tell me why

- Frankie Lymon & the Teenagers "Why Do Fools Fall In Love" -

a very short update tonight...just received something from a certain someone that has kept me smiling the whole day and will probably last till tomorrow morning! hehehhehe....*giggle, giggle*....i'm such a sucker!

*sigh*...

currently listening to the Frankie Lymon..have just discovered them...love them! really nice oldies tunes..

allright, all serious now, u still have two more papers to go, so no slacking till this saturday! then why am i online? sheesh, the same question rings through my mind everytime i switch the pc on..it's ok, i'm in such a good mood that i will make it up by studying a few more extra minutes later..(yeah, right! )

today i discovered the infamous cik kieli's blog and started reading on the part where she first steps into london....extremely interesting stuff...i think it's my love for fiction that makes me such a sucker for descriptive writings...for example, no matter how hard i try, i can never bring myself to read the major headlines in the papers first..it will always be the features pages first..i will flip through everything, read the comics section (something that i never miss...have been an ardent follower of the Baby Blues strip since Zoey was a newborn and had such a mengada-ngada face..)..therefore, i am more attracted to blogs that describe events graphically and lay the details one-by-one...so i can see them in my mind and have a mental replay of the whole thing...

i can't write fiction...i think i tried when i was in Form 2...at that time, i was crazy for this teen actor, Luke Edwards...eh, if anyone remembers him, please let me know...he only had one movie (i think), Little Big League, but because i had this really good-looking picture of him from one of those teen magazines that i developed a crush on...sigh..those gullible days of adolescence..when u can actually fall in love with a photograph...waay immature of me, i know, i know..(might still be guilty of it now, hehehe..) anyways, i was inspired to write a short story about him....hmm...didn't work out tho'...it was only 2 pages of those brown exercise books we used at school that i can fill up....will not reveal any details...malu!! btw, the heroin was Anna Chlumsky...remember her? from My Girl? well, i couldn't find anyone else who was also 14 at that time...flipped through the magazines and found that they were born in the same year..apa lagi....anyways, my supposed critic had this big haha laugh while reading the draft that i didn't even want to finish the story...ends my story-writing days, hehehe...

those teen magazines were this major part of my teenage life...i had a collection of Teen Beat (US), some Star mags (Australia), and of course Smash Hits ( i think) from UK.... was crazy for Jonathan Brandis, Jonathan taylor-Thomas, Dieter Brummer, Take That, Damon Albarn and loads, loads more....had their posters plastered all over my walls...hehehhe....those were the days...kononnye was very well-informed with the international music scene laa tu...

speaking of Damon Albarn, the other day i was driving my mom's car and slipped in cassette in the cassette player and out came "U Krazy Kat" by Ant & Dec..please, please, please, if anyone could relate to what i'm talking about, i need to know...i need to know if they really existed back then..ahahahah.....apparently, my sister had dug out one of my dubbed tapes' collection and found this one...i had, like, 12 dubbed tapes of songs from the early nineties..i remember rushing to the radio to press the record button to record those songs...hehehe, as a result, most of the songs are missing the beginning...

hehehe...today is a good day...alhamdulillah... :)

Burned Out Star

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

- Smash Mouth's " All Star" -


Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 40%
Visual : 60%
Left : 47%
Right : 52%


Dalie, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional.

Got this off Prof Sadin's site...if you guys are reading this, why are you still here?! read hers...it's waaaaayyyyy excellent....

*COUNTDOWN TO THE LAUNCH OF HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX : 7 DAYS**

alhamdulillah...got through my first 2 papers today...hence the update..dunno how long this will be..we'll see how far my fingers will take me tonight..


this week has been, i think, one of the most challenging week of my life @ work...not the job itself, more of other people's perception of you, how narrow minded some people can be when they judge you by what they don't like when they see you, by their own principles, which may not comply to others, at all time...i dunno what i am talking about now....let's just say that certain individuals i work with had stretched my patience and tolerance to its most elastic level...the words "Go to h***.." has been hanging at the tip of my tongue for several days already...and yet, never did i uttered them out loud, not even when i'm alone in the ladies, staring at my reflection in the mirror, wishing i'm someplace else....

maybe people would think i'm weak, or a pampered kid..but i know i'm not...when i first started out, i was convinced i would only last for a month...i was convinced that i would either be unable to withstand the pressure from the job, or that i'll be bored of it...it came as a surprise to me that when i looked back to those moments, it was actually 10 months back...to me, that's a sign that i'm tougher than i thought ..i know of colleague who switch to 3 different jobs within the same span of time...

so, what am i still doing there? obligations and conscience...hmm, not substantial enough reasons...i know, i know...i just can't bring myself to do anything about it...then why whine? because i've had this moments of reflection before which i dismissed as a weakness, and then, had wanted to prove to myself that i can stick to this job, and go through the rumble and tumbles, emerging later as a much stronger person...only this time i feel emotionally and physically drained..stripped of my dignity countless times, rendered dumb and confused....

i know that i'm stronger now...heck,i had this smile plastered on my face and this pleasant voice emitting out of my lips when my mind was actually churning and a scream was just at the back of my throat...i pride myself on not wasting tears for those times where shedding them would be an automatic reaction...i kept this cheery facade and judging by my blog entries, i even managed to humour some of my readers (thank you lady tasia and lady nona...made my days! )...it was until friday night, when the week was over, when i had finished my prayers, and was getting ready to study for my exams the next morning, that it all came to me in a rush, and i couldn't stop them saltwater drops from pouring...

i can badmouth these people, spread rumours and damage their reputation...but i won't...i can't be bothered and i need to conserve my energy for much more important things...its tiring thinking about them...and i don't deserve to do that to myself...

have more things to write but i don't think i'm able to form coherent sentences tonight....i'm happier today tho'..the exams were ok, Thank God i did those test papers, it helped a lot...met up with classmates from the induction courses....so walked out of IBBM with a spring in my step..earlier on had the Sunrise at Coffee Bean (yum, my favorite! ) then off to meet some very dear friends for a little get together session (hehe, and to discuss a little business joint-venture)..had great dinner with the folks, prayed, read the Quran a little and now all calm....think i'm finally gonna watch Auntie Mame (sorry cousin, took a long time to finally tengok it...will give feedback in due time..hehehehe)...will return with a more uplifting entry next time...promise!

** 2 down, 2 more to go...**

just want to leave this little something i got from a forwarded email...if you have managed to read this entry up to this point,without actually nodding off to sleep, then read on for just a little bit...thank you :)


Chance or Choice?


When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time, that's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to,that's not a choice, that's chance. Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance.The difference is what happens afterwards. Will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to turn this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.


If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.That's choice. When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, cuter and richer than him or her, and yet, you decide to love them just the same, that's a choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make. There's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." We came to the world not to find someone perfect to love..... BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly.....

The Cabbie and Mariah Carey

Baby if you give it to me
I'll give it to you
I know what you want
You know I got it
Baby if you give it to me
I'll give it to you
As long as you want
You know I got it

- Busta Rhymes " I Know What You Want" featuring Flipmode Squad & Mariah Carey -

judging by the feedback from my honoured audience (my small group of readers) i am compelled to share a memory of analyzing lyrics...

now, my brother and i are 2 years apart,but sometimes when i'm with him, i'm not the older one..instead reduced to the mentality of his age..hmm, wonder why? ke all this while memang camtu...anyways, one day, as every other day, he picked me up from the komuter station after work...that usually would be around 7-8 p.m., depending on what time i arrive..

so, alkisahnye..one day, while he was driving us home, and we were chatting..the car radio was tuned on to Hitz.fm and they had the Top 20 Song Charts (or something like that) on, as always laa, everyday...then this song by Busta Rhymes featuring Mariah Carey came on...as her breathless voice fills the background, i turned to my brother and said...

Me : D, i think kan, Mariah Carey nie kan, her dream is to become a back-up singer laa..not a betul2 punye singer (see how the vocabulary becomes non-existent..)

Bro : Huh? why do u say that?

Me : Yelaa..sebabnye..die mcm lagi seronok laa nyanyi back up for other people especially rappers..even now, when she sings her songs pun, semuanye breathless, breathless...so mengada-ngada..(to the point of hysteria already..)

Bro : What? u crazy or what? Busta Rhymes is the man tau...semua orang nak collaborate dengan die..biarlaa kalau Mariah nak nyanyi ke ape ke...let her be laa..

Me : no laa i'm just telling you that i think that's her ambitionlaa...nak jadi back-up je..mcm bee gees..look what happened to them?

Bro : Arrgghh..ape-ape laa...what nonsense...

and on, and on, it went till we arrived home...

a few days after that, he picked me up again, and yet again, the song came on air...i promptly turn to him and said...

Me : D, you know what? Mariah Carey nie kan, sebenarnye, nak jadi back-up singer je tau..die kan...

Bro : ARrgghh! u told me your theory already laa!!

Me : i did? oh, ya ka? hehehe.well, anyways, its true ape...(bla,bla,bla....)

Bro : I'm not gonna listen to this..lalalalalalal.....

Me : Fine, whatever....

hehheehe....anyways, one day, last week, there was this big downpour and i was stuck in kl...so, my mom asked him to pick me up...the thing is, he told my mom he's in kl when actually he's not...so? padan muka, kena pick me up at klcc...tulaa balasannye tipu kat mak...anyways, got into the car..and joined the long, slow crawl out of kl ( only to join the long, slow crawl on the Federal Highway...sheesh..)....and somewhere on Lebuh Ampang, the Busta Rhymes song came on again! apa lagi...

Me : D! have i told you my theory of this song? Mariah Carey nie kan...

Bro : ARRGGHHH!

hehehheheheeh...i love bugging my siblings...

good news! my sister got her transfer approved and is coming back ! yaay! altho' now have to put up with her whiny voice and demands again..but it's worth it...she'll be too busy with uni life after this...hmm, should be interesting to watch..already had her first assignment..awww..boleh buat ke? hehehehe...

anyways, two things happened yesterday...my faithful companion, the all-mighty komuter train, had already arrived at the platform and yours truly here had a mad dash with heels clunking and baju kurung flapping..got on to the train and start hanging on to the pole...was too tired too study on the train plus was having a conversation on the mobile with dear cousin who just got back from Mecca and had loads to tell (some shocking news too, eh...)

well, "my battery has the tendency to go flat" within a few minutes of talking (is somebody smiling...don't lie..i can see you..)..so our conversation was cut short...so, was just standing there looking around and outside, while wishing everyone could get off at the same time (wishful,wishful..)...when this chinese guy (boy actually) with a backpack, trackpants and nikes, who was standing by the exit, started to smile to himself and suddenly, turned to me and continued smiling! i was like, whaa-...huh? does he know me? it's ok if he was smiling at something else and turned and ter-caught my eye and turned the other way round for fear of embarassment..nie tidak...he continued looking and smiling while moi here was staring blankly at him..in the end, i yang turn around! weird boy....dah laa he had this round eyes, and the goofy smile stuck on his face...like, i'm smiling earnestly here, can you see mee?...

the second thing that happened was...well, no one was around to pick me up from the station so i decided to take a cab home..now the system is, apparently, the cabs are all lined up according to the seksyens they're going to...so if you go the first cabbie and ask for seksyen, say 8, then they'll go, "oh, belakang, belakang"...quite systematic, i must say...and they take passengers in bulk so you could be going home with a perfect stranger sitting next to you...well, i was lucky cuz my perfect stranger was this really cute girl in a suit and tudung..we sat silently at the backseat of the cab as he rumbled off, sans seatbelt....

so, very deep in thought here...thinking at which point of the journey should i give directions, is she getting off first or am i, how much is this going to cost me, obviously he's not using the meter ( i think all the cab meters in shah alam kaput-ed once they enter the territory)...when he suddenly, pulled over in front of the Quality Hotel lobby...heh? what are we doing here? i thought he was picking up another passenger, while the stranger and i exchanged quizzical glances...the cabbie then turned around expectantly...

"bang, kitorang nak gi seksyen 8..." in this plaintive, small voice...well, somebody must have been dreaming! he slapped his forehead and vrroomed away...hehhehehe...i couldn't help giggling..well, actually i wanted to laugh out loud, but that would have been too embarassing for him, right...another part of the journey also consisted of him swerving (ikut suka hati mak bapak die je..) from a junction when i was actually pointing at my house just outside the junction...

The Scientist

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

- Coldplay's "Scientist" -

Dealing Principles and Procedures..wha..hey, what am i doing here? hehehe, oh well, might as well do a little bit of updating..(*takes a break from studying and flexes her fingers..*)

I was intrigued when i i first heard the song Scientist by Coldplay..it's haunting tunes and ambiguous lyrics makes me wanna analyze why is the song entitled The Scientist..so, i let my mind roam, and came up with the following observation and opinion...mind you, i'm sure not everybody agrees with it but this is what i think and could conclude...to me...i do, however, welcome feedback..altho after reading this u might be a little wary of reading upcoming entries...hope not :)

This song is about a scientist who is deeply in love with a woman. Somehow, the woman is cryogenically frozen due to death or near death and he's been preserving her that way. The line "come up to meet you, to tell you i'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are.." brings to my mind an image of a man in white lab coat (who looks very much like the vocalist.) coming up to one of those cryogenic case standing upright with his lover inside, eyes closed, hands clasped on her tummy, wearing a floral, knee-length dress, very much still...

"I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart..."

depicts his undying and deep love for her that made him perform the cryogenic freezing process on her, to set her apart from the crowd of people surrounding him for she is very special to him, and that he wants to bring her back from the dead...

"I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart"

he is obviously trying to find a cure for her, or to bring her back..hence "pulling the puzzle apart"..he's searching for answers, and the state of the scientific world of today which probably doubt the act he performed will not deter him from looking for solutions to bring back his lover to life...(ok, very uncertain details here, but i've gone too far ahead to dissect my observation..).."do not speak as loudly as my heart" is the progress in the scientific world which are probably taking cautious steps as well as are skeptical of this human regenerating process, but for which he is racing to uncover solutions for...

"Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start..."

and for all these to be possible, he would have to start from the beginning..either from her time of death, or from the beginning of mankind to uncover secrets that would bring her back to him...to have her with him, again...

do i sound psychotic? have i just shredded the romantic love song u share with your significant other, thus ruining the sentiment for you? do i make any sense? have i nothing better to do?!

you decide... :)

The Saturday Afternoon Reserved For Studying...Not!

Lay down your arms and surrender to me,
Oh lay down your arms and love me peacefully, Yea.
Use your arms for squezing and please
I'm the one that loves you so,
Oh there ain't no reason for you to declare
war on the one who loves you so,
So forget the other boys because my love is real,
Come off your battlefield.

- Pearl Jam's "Soldier of Love" -


Current favorites from my brother’s playlist: (in alphabetical order)

1.Aerosmith : Crazy
2.Cake : I will survive
3.Carburetor Dung : Boo Hoo Clapping
4.Creed : Don’t Stop Dancing
5.Green Day : Macy’s Day Parade, Waiting, Walking Alone
6.Goo Goo Dolls : Big Machine, Here Is Gone, Iris
7.Incubus : Are You In
8.Lifehouse : Spin
9.Marilyn Manson : Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This, Beautiful People
10. Naked Breed : Tribute
11.Pearl Jam : Soldier of Love
12. Smashing Pumpkin : 1979, Perfect, Stand Inside Your Love.


Currently listening to Pear Jam's Soldier of Love, 3 times in a row..love it!.....i've just discovered it on my brother's winamp playlist...was too lazy to switch to the Easy Listening playlist so had to listen to his selection...not bad, found some nice ones...that explains the list above...I’m supposed to be studying right now, but can't resist the call of cyberspace (I hear you, I’m coming, I’m coming….) arrgghh!! My mom told me to belasah je, ehehe, she is still hoping that I might consider a career change and opt to work in an industry that requires me to go home at, oh, noon…nevertheless, discipline is the KEY…yeah, right…

Anyways, watched Finding Nemo last night..it was hilarious and endearingly touching at times..i love the sharks! They were sooo funny! Went to watch it with the dear friend and the famed new friend…twas fun! Bugging a new friend has always been an energizing activity for me after a long hard day at work, heheheh...

My sister got back from uni last night with a few new zits and loads of horror stories…haven’t been able to sit down and have a long chat with her just yet…she’s gone to Midvalley for some shopping with the MOTHER…was very tempted to go along, but am staying put at home to study…I bet tonight she’d want to go uptown for her sotong and lala goreng, char koay teow and chicken chop…yumm, yumm...

They’re screening Ada Apa Dengan Cinta tonight on a local channel !!!!!!!!! WHHHEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

gotta study, gotta study....the key features of the Danamodal Bonds are....errr...AARRGGHHH!!!!

Walking Home

Teruntukmu hatiku,
Inginku bersuara,
Merangkai semua tanya,
Imagi yang terlintas...

- Tentang Seseorang "A2DC"-


Today i took a different route home than the usual one i go on. I usually walk to KLCC and hop on the LRT there..instead, today, i decided to challenge myself (fuhh, challenge nyerr..) and walk down the Jln Raja Chulan to the Masjid Jamek LRT Station...part of the reason is to see how long it would take, part of it is not wanting to be stuck on a bus to the same destination (while hanging on for your dear life and smelling someone's sweaty armpits..hey, when ur short, u take it as it comes..) and wasting my time when i could go home and study for my exams next week (yeah, right...what am i doing online now updating my blog? hehehe, guilty as charged..ok, ok, i promise, after this..it's straight to the matresses..err, i mean, books)...where was i? oh yeah, and another reason for my walking through kl through horrendous traffic, stifling smog, uneven pavements (grr,grr...), suicidal motorists is that i wanted to save on the bus fare...i can hear my officemate, Leen, laughing hysterically here...ok, fine...i knowlaa its 70 sen...but hey, sikit-sikit, lama-lama jadi bukit...hahaha, this month i'm a self-confessed cheapskate and Hjh Bakhil ( Welcome to the Cheapskate Anonymous...err, yeah, my name is Dalie and i'm a cheapskate...)..altho' my case would would be, sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi lombong...

anyways, as i was walking , taking in the scenery as i go along..when something caught my eye...now there's this tiny church on the other side of the road...what got my attention was that there was this small wedding procession coming out of the church...there was a bride in a white dress, minus the veil but with a bouquet of roses...a groom in a white suit..they were taking photographs outside the church while the traffic witnessed the whole thing...hmm..i thought that was really a sweet bit of my journey...what surprised me was the fact that the wedding was held on a weekday afternoon..a Thursday, to be precise...in our society nowadays, wedding is not merely an occasion intertwining two souls legally and emotionally, but also reason enough to throw a bash...i think only a handful of malaysian can boast of their own private wedding reception held on an inconspicous day of the week, minus the large crowd and the big hoo-ha, just attended by their very, very closed and dear ones...reminded me of the movie "Runaway Bride"....where Julia Roberts's character wanted to get married on a workday...*sigh* Richard Gere..drool,drool....

i am not against a big wedding..heck, i'm actually all for it....i love the pandemonium and the chaos, the merriness, the grandeur, the crowd, the whole package...altho' in Islam, it is only required of us to hold a reception merely to announce the marriage,hence, a small one would do, as long as the public is aware that the couple are married...i guess i admire the fact that it went against the convention...

i'm not one for convention, altho' , as i discovered, growing up, i find the need to be accepted..therefore i revert to convention..i go with the mainstream just to fit in the crowd, to be one of the gang...somewhere along the way, i find that i have lost part of myself that doesn't care about what other people think...and now, when i desperately need that part of myself to distingush me in a crowd, it has gone into hiding and at the moment, much amount of coaxing would actually encourage it to show its face...hmm...oh, well...recuperating, reconstructing and regenerating..i shall come back with a vengeance!! muahahahahahah...

Of the Wooden Confessional Box

Treat me nice,
Treat me good,
Treat me like you really should,
Cause i'm not made of wood,
And i don't have a woodenheart...

- Elvis Presley/Lizard's Convention "Woodenheart" -

During my third year in uni, we were required to take up an elective. Of the small range, we chose Comparative Religion cuz we found it interesting..(plus it seems the easiest to score! hehehe..) it was very interesting and definitely informative. We learnt a lot about the other mainstream religions plus a few cults...bit of info, there was this cult in the US whose members were found dead of suicidal cause in an abandoned warehouse, all wearing brand-new Nikes!! hmm...kinda makes you wonder how strong the marketing strategy for Nike is to actually equip a bunch of lost cultist in search for their supposed nirvana...hmm...anyways, we had this munchkin for a teacher..very cute with such a huge tudung...anyways, she was entertaining as well as she had too many stories to tell us but too little time cuz it was during the fasting month, and our class was in the evening, and she felt obliged to let us go of early (woohoo! ) not that it would make much difference, but we definitely welcome the early break..heheheh...

so, as always, a paper is required of us..we were to do a project paper on another religion other than our own...my friends and i chose to do a paper on the Confession of the Christian Church...mainly because we've seen too many telly shows with confession sessions and the all-important but intriguing wooden confessional box....i had this Christian friend of mine to introduc me to a priest from this church in PJ...so, we were all excited laa..mainly because we have never seen a confessional box up close before and had visions of ourselves sliding the panel in between, hehehehe...so, one fine Saturday morning we drove up to the church to conduct an interview with the priest..Father O.C. Lim...now, one of my groupmate is a tech freak...while most of us were just gazing at palmtop adverts in the maagazines (and wondering how to use it...hey it was in the early 2000), she was already using it in class to take down notes..so, we assigned her to bring the camera and tape recorder for the interview...when we arrive at her place to pick her up...aiikss? assall melenggang je...?? she had nothing in her hands and no backpack...apparently, both equipment was of the digital kind, and fit into the back pockets of her jeans...fuyyooo.....jakun, jakun....

the interview went well...Father Lim was very helpful..told us all about the history and methods, and everything...dutifully, we took it all down and asked the right questions...when at the back of our minds, we were shouting, where is the confessional box??!!!!...hehhehe...after the interview, we discreetly, hehehe, asked him to give us a tour of the church (sebenarnye nak tengok the darn confession box) and kononnye wanted to take pics of the box to be included in the paper...to our dismay, we found that there were no box only a room where to confession-er meet face to face with the priest for those confessions...the priest explained that it was a relativly new church and that if we wanted to see the real one, there is one such box in an old church right smack-daddy in the middle of KL....

oklaaa...excited kan...so, made the appointment to see him at the church...it was a hot afternoon the day we set off to see him..i was aware that my fuel is running low, but, hey, i thought, i can make it to the petronas by the highway...so all 5 of us (4 groupmates and another excited friend who's just there for the ride) vrroomed our way to KL...along the way, my car jerked a few times...so, we switched off the air-cond and the radio (haha, classic thing to do to conserve fuel..) then the engine died...uh-oh...managed to start it up again...mentally urging the car to make it to the gas station which was less than 2 kilometres away...thank god it started to move again...

ok, only a kilometre away..nearer, nearer...and i could see the signboard for Petronas coming up...about 500 metres away...then...it stopped!! dead!! and no amount of turning the ignition could get it to start!! aarrgghhh!!!! we were already late for the appointment, so we had it cancelled..darn..my poor friends had to walk 500 metres to the gas station (and some) to get some petrol...you could see, their faces grimacing in the hot sun as they walked up to the car to isi minyak...*whoops* alamak!! tak cukup!! by this time i was too busy apologizing to them and promising them lunch at McDs amidst wolf whistles from the traffic...luckily, this passerby in a kancil helped us out...whew....

a week later, we made our way to the church, yet again..haha..this time we weren't disappointed..it was there in its wooden splendour...hhehehe...took pictures inside, outside, slide the panels a few times, while a friend pretended to confess...memang takde keje...as parting gift, Father Lim gave us a book he wrote on the Journey of the Catholic Church in Malaysia...

hmm...the results we got for the paper was not as high as we expected...but the picture of us grinning in front of the condession box? priceless...made me realise even more of the greatness of Islam that doesn't require any intermediary to communicate, confess and repent to God..just the pureness of heart and intention...

My Jigsaw Puzzle

And I was not looking, was content to remain.
And it's ironic to be back in the game.

- Lauren Wood's Fallen (OST Pretty Woman)-


I have a confession to make: I think I may actually need the presence of a guy in my life...

Woaah...big thing i'm revealing here...but it came about after reading one of those forwarded emails that my lovely (grr..) friends flooded me with..anyways, what happened was, my pc began experiencing lapses..sekejap2 mati...so, i complained to the IT dept..and they got me a temporary one..so, no more YM for me till i dunno when...on top of that, i got berated for not doing the necessary housekeeping (especially to my Outlook contents)..fine laa...there i was, going through one by one email, eliminating all nonsensical forwarded ones, when i came across one with a the subject "Panduan Memilih Pasangan" ..huh? what was that doing there?! so, i skimmed through the whole thing..(pilihla isteri yg menjaga hati ibu bapa, yada,yada,yada...) when something caught my eye...hmm...forgive me for being so ignorant but i didn't know that " Rasulullah S.A.W. benci kepada orang yg membujang sehingga ke tua"...

you see, i've never really paid much attention to the fact that, hey, i might have to procure one of them boyfriend/husband things, before...part of the reason is that i believe in mutual attraction and that nobody can force anybody to be attracted to them...much of it would be that i am safely cocooned in a community of family and close, girlfriends, that i don't really find the need to be lonely without a man by my side...i find that i am closer to my girlfriends and that i don't have that many guy friends that i can be close with...hmm...i guess i haven't found that many who i can relate to or whom i like his personality for...or maybe i'm just too shy? and that i have a problem talking to guys? hmm....

it's just that it's not such a big deal to me and seemed like a matter that i can put off till much later when i'm ready...oh sure...thoughts of marriage have crossed my mind...i planned my weddings in my head, i know what my son's name would be, i planned their education structure loosely (!! sometimes i think i have too much time on my hands)..but the hubby factor? he's very much in the hazy background as i haven't found the candidate to play that particular role in my daydreams...

i am happy with the state of my life now, and i don't think that having a boyfriend would make me any much happier than i am now...but somehow, after reading that particular sentence..i guess i have to admit to the fact that, at some level, when it's least expected, the man/my-husband-to-be would fit in the jigsaw puzzle of my life as if it has always been the missing piece that i never bothered to look for...

well, it has made me view my life from a slightly different angle...muchos gracias also to the dear friend who has provided the eye-opener despite my defensive protests...


on to the recap of the weekend..i promise this will be a short one...hm..had an activity packed saturday as almost every other saturdays would be..it was my lil sis's last day in town before reporting to ther uni on sunday..so had to bring her to the orthodontist to get her braces tightened...then, off to One Utama to buy a wedding present for her friend's sister's wedding which we will be attending later in the afternoon...went to IKEA, Jaya Jusco..still couldn't find her anything..at last we went to Living Quarters..oh, domestic haven!..my sis got them some decoration thingy which involves a glass plate and candles (hey, don't ask me, i'm not the one taking up interior design here...) then rushed home to get ready for the wedding...while applying mascara (with shaky fingers, of course, never been the one to primp myself up in such a way..hhehehe..)..my grandmother and aunt from Penang dropped in for a surprise visit...so, made polite conversations while hoping that mascara won't clump up..my mom had to apologized to them for all the rushing...(hehe, actually we were all pretty hungry and can't wait to stuff ourselves at the wedding..) they were only there to pray as my aunt had to leave for Penang soon and was on the way to send my grandma back to kampung....

went to the wedding..nice and simple..being the kepochis we are, when they invited the guests into the house to witness the persandingan, mom and i went straight to the back of the house where they were reported to have done some renovation to have a look-see...heheheheh....then up to the pengantin's bedroom...really sweet and simple..very ingeniously done too..who would have thought that curtains could be substituted for bed skirtings? not i...but the effect was really grande....

went to my friends country club on saturday night for a gathering cum karaoke party...it was fun! surprisingly, for i thought that i won't really know anyone coming..met up with old friends from school who have grown to become such gorgeous ladies with dutiful boyfriends in tow..haha! karaoke was fun, as always (hey, what can i say? i'm a karaoke addict! not that my voice gives any justification to my addiction..hhaahah!)..

sent off my sister on sunday...that was a long journey to send someone to school...along the way, i fervently hoped that she didn't leave any important documents at home! relatively..it is in the middle of nowhere but as it is a part of a new township, well, things could be coming up soon..had her registered where she saw a friend and started gushing excitedly..i could see that this new friend (who, coincidentally, share the same name as my sis!) would be inseparable..met up with the girl's parents..nice people with such a chubby younger son...so, got her settled into her new room..did whatever necessary to make the place livable...(sweeping the floor, wiping the shelves, taking down the camellia poster...[!!!] ) we had to leave early cuz she had to go for this briefing...so, with all the advices that we could sumbat into her head in such a short time..we kissed her goodbye...

*sigh*...i slept most of the way home...when i woke up my mom asked " do u think she'll be ok there?" "entahla ma, insya-Allah, ok kot.." my dad, on the other hand, is confident that she would be transfered back home...that night, my mom suddenly blurted out " mama risau die mase bulan puasa je nanti.." and this morning on the way to work, with conviction she said " mama rasa die kena balik laa..susah die nanti.."...less than 24 hours and she's already missed...been trying to get her on her handphone, but the little monkey haven't been picking up..hmm, maybe it has something to do with the no-handphones rule during orientation week..? * whoops*..hehehehe....


*smile factor* - i didn't know that there's this really nice praying area at the Tapah R&R...check it out! it's as if you're praying in a garden...pardon my jakun-ness..but niceeee....