My High School Resume

Viva forever, I'll be waiting
Everlasting, like the sun
Live forever,
For the moment
Ever searching for the one

- Spice Girls' "Viva Forever" -


i got this from somewhere..compelled to share, because, heck, its much shorter than listening to me ramble on and on over teh o ais limau and maggi goreng ayam..

Your High School(s): SMP Sri Aman, PJ

1. Nickname in high school?
Dalie..someone tried to call me Fariz, but that didn't work..thank god!

2. Best subject?
Err, English, English Lit., BM, Biology *not that i got good results for it pun*, Science with Pn Loo, PJK with Ms Anne James and Pn Zaharah (who cycled to school with a baseball jacket)..

5. Worst subject?
Arts, Add. Maths, and Physics *groans*

6. A teacher you owe life lessons to?
Oh, a bunch, Ms James for one, a few of my ustadzahs *seriously* and Pn Noorlida (my BM teacher)..

7. A teacher you wanna kick in the ass?
Not literally kick in the ass, but there was a Pn L***g who didn't believe in my mathematical ability, and called me up to the office to talk privately about it..cheh..

8. Describe form 1:
- First day: Due to clumsy self, terpleot masuk longkang, and subsequently missed 2 days of orientation.
- Hated the first 6 months, but befriended a lovely girl by the name Delaila (we sat next to each other, what are the odds?!)..
- Swimming and Tennis Club..
- discovered, hey, i like acting!
- tons and tons of embarassing stuff..
- oh yeah, bad, MAJOR BAD hair of, like, the whole century..resulted in a very angry looking Dalie in her class picture..
- made bad friendships decisions..*bad Dalie, bad Dalie!*
- very, very long bus rides to and fro school..c
- Celebrity crush of the year: Jonathan Brandis *who btw, died of heroin od, i think*

9. Form 2:
- God, dislocated knee, minor celebrity because of the cast :p
- Choral Reading : won 2nd place..
- trip to the Zoo *member of Kelab PEncinta Alam, can u bear?*
- planned a major sleepover with really good friends then..
- tied the pigtails, of this friend of mine who sat in front of me in class, into a knot whenever possible..hehehe..
- smelly monsoon drain smells as class was situated near one
- cancel Tennis membership coz of knee...*sigh*
- and god, save me, wore black and white shoes coz thought that was cool...as in, sebelah kaki -hitam, sebelah putih..*runs off to shut self in cave for 5 years*..
- Celebrity crush of the Year: Luke Edwards

10. Form 3 year:
- 3 letters: PMR.
- got into a really cool class, with colourful personalities such as Tania, Choup, Prem, Noorlida, Ann, Dida, Kai Marina, Ayesha..among others
- bickered everyday with desk partner..until she chose to sit elsewhere..hehehe
performed a cool show for Teacher's Day..
- the best Geography tuition ever!
- Pn Wan, my History teacher, who i think, was the voice behind those Sang KAncil stories on TV Pendidikan, never fails lull us to sleep in class due to her melodious voice
- Girl Guides, aka Campering and Campfire..
- PMR results? heh...bolehlaaa..
- Celebrity crush of the Year: Jason Scot Lee *drools*

11. Form 4 year:
- Got into one of the best science classes = a damn cool class..muahahah..
- but class was situated in the hot blocks, so was perpetually sweating..
- class was very noisy, till the teachers threatened to re-streamed..mana boleh?! we have the best people! :p
- got harassed to go to Jaya every Thursday afternoon by Ayesha..
- Prefectorial Board Probation..god, nuff said there...
- gained independence via tuitions in PJ..Add MAths in SS 1, where i will fall asleep nearly every session..
- got to know the Totz *oh god, giler jugak die nie :p*
- jadi prefect = best giler, best experiences ever...
- Interact Club, err..ok lorr..
- another class drama, where i, yet again, became a man *sigh*
- Celebrity crush of the Year: Gary Barlow of Take That fame *i know, portly, and can't dance..why?!*

12. Form 5 year:
- One of the best years...despite SPM..
- more and more tuitions...*sigh*
- 1/4 of the class were prefects and we were still the noisiest class
- best, also, most infuriating desk mate ever! laughed over stupid jokes, made everyone envy our sitting position *we were the only 2 desks out of sync with the class's alignment*, impromptu English class show, and enough wackiness for everyone..
- however, was perpetually moody in the mornings..only alive upon hearing the words Innuendo and Reymee :p
- Form 6 Drama, DJ, Debate, Dikir..the only D i missed was Dance, and we all know why :p
- Afti, Eileen and Elizabeth = tennis, Jaya, study groups, insane stuff, best buddies ever..
- lone rides on metrojaya busses back to Subang..
- BM tuitions in Subang to meet Subang people again..
- Prefect meeting, Jaya, McDs, Metro SS 14, Eileen's and Afti's houses..
- the whole school boycotted the cafeteria operator, that was the best!
- Innuendo, Innuendo, Innuendo..ppl closest to me would know to what extent i went for them :)
- Celebrity crush of the Year: Reymee!

13. Your best friends in high school??
The Spideros aka Afti, Eileen, Elizabeth :)...but i was once damn close with Yueh Li, Su Li and Didie as well..and Rey, later on..

14. Cafeteria food sucked?
Actually no, the first 4 years was actually great, even my mom had lunches there..Yong Tau Foo, Lam Mee and Prawn Mee, Fried Chicken and chips, mee/beehoon/kuehtiow hailam fried on the spot, and the usual nasi lemak and fried noodles..and then we boycotted :p

15. Most hilarious school rule?
The afternoon session had a no hugging rule..what a hoot!

16. Wore uniforms?
Yups, the turqoise pinafore, with the busted side zip and a boys shirt, the one with the stiff collar.. till i graduated to the maroon prefect uniforms..


17. How was the prom?
Got prom ke? Not an official Amanians' one.. well, if there was one, was not invited, as was not the coolest kid around :p but went to the Hartamas prom to see Innuendo :)


18. Who was prom king and queen?
N/A


19. Any achievements?
Best English debater in F5..well, all the best debaters were away winning trophies, so what's left are the kucheerats aka moi..ooh, and managed to actually pass my Grade 7 piano exams during my SPM year..

20. Were you popular?
Err, don't think so...you know me, meh?

21. Best song that reminds you of high school?
"Would I Lie To You" by Charles and Eddie..ehehe..among other songs..and of course, Innuendo songs and Spice Girls tunes *courtesy of Elizabeth* in F5

22. Unforgettable high school crush?
hohoho...wouldn't you like to know ;)..but my male crushes were all away in other schools :p

23. Most embarrassing moment?
God, too many to mention and to list here... :p

24. Memory you'd like to forget about high school?
The year i was mean to a dear friend...i wish i didn't do what i did *sigh*

25. Best memory?
anything that involves me, my friends and the stage :p

26. Any regrets?
Being mean to the people i was mean to...

27. Would you like your "future child" to attend your high school?
Yes! kalau dapat baby boy, err...go kawan with Sri Amanians! :p


28. Were the bathrooms clean?
Yes, they were, cuz we freaking cleaned them during recess! we even developed an attachment to the nearest toilets, so we jaga-ed it, sprayed air freshener all,.. and were always worried when the notorious girls went in...


29. How long since you left?
7 years

30. Do you want to go back to high school?
At times, yes..

Oh yeah, Selamat menyambut Hari Kebangsaan ke - 47! Alhamdulillah, negara kita masih lagi bebas dari belenggu penjajah..semoga negara kita akan sentiasa mengecapi kemewahan yang dapat dikongsi bersama, dan masih bersatu di bawah payung perpaduan pelbagai bangsa dan agama...

When Best Friends Fantasize Too Much

Di keheningan malam,
Termenung ku berseorang
Tak lena mata dipejam
Terdengar suara terngiang
Suara merdu yang disayang
Bagai kau di depan mata
Ku capai tapi tak kena
Sukarnya memendam rasa
Ingin ku luahkan kata

- Ruffedge's "Bila Rindu" -

When you have friends like the Totz and Eilmyster, life is never a bore...a whine can turn to full blown laughter, tears to smiles, and a tablefull of food..err, empty, within minutes..that's what i love about these kids, and no "konon" macho guys impersonating as their husbands can take them away from me..

Alkisahnye, si Aptie yang sangat resourceful bab2 Internet nie, telah came up with the Colgate Imvironment on YM... this IMvironment enables us to come up with a short stories under a few titles..and both of us chose, *drumrolls* Your Dream Wedding!

ahem...brace yourself..the first one is her version and the second one, mine :)

"Afti and Jai were married in a joyous ceremony held last week. The two exchanged vows in a historic mansion in the presence of 250 guests. Attendees included such A-list celebrities as Dalie, and even Eileen who arrived in a private jet. The bride wore a stunning gown created by House of Lizzy and carried a bouquet of Daffodils. Attendants were dressed in lovely ensembles of White. Guests tossed Sotong goreng tepung as the newlyweds departed in a horse-drawn carriage. At the reception, guests danced until dawn to music by Jim Brickman. The happy couple is honeymooning for two weeks at the exclusive island resort, Horses Paradise."

and we can see here, ladies and gentlemen, Afti's extreme fondness for Sotong goreng Tepung, sampai she wants them to be thrown at her during her wedding..i guess we know what to load our handbags and pockets with for the big day nanti huh?


"Dalie and Sham Kamikaze were married in a joyous ceremony held last week. The two exchanged vows in a historic mansion in the presence of 250 guests. Attendees included such A-list celebrities as AftheTotz, and even Eilmyster who arrived in a private jet. The bride wore a stunning gown created by House of Simpsons and carried a bouquet of lillies. Attendants were dressed in lovely ensembles of peach. Guests tossed popcorn as the newlyweds departed in a horse-drawn carriage. At the reception, guests danced until dawn to music by Reymee Innuendo. The happy couple is honeymooning for two weeks at the exclusive island resort, Birds Paradise."

Mine, of course, was perfect... :)

..and they rode off into the sunset, happily together, ever after...

Inspired to take over the world

If you can't wake up in the morning
Cause your bed lies vacant at night
If you're lost, hurt, tired or lonely
Can't control it, try as you might
May you find that love that won't leave you
May you find it by the end of the day
You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonely
Something beautiful will come your way

- Robbie William's "Something Beautiful" -

been away the whole day, on an interviewing quest..cewaah, cam ape jer..:p it was only one guy, but what a guy he is..

hmm, i'm wondering if i should put his name, sebab nanti if people google they'd prolly find this blog..i actually mentioned that i googled him before, when i met him earlier on, cuz i was not sure what his background was..hehehe...anyhoo, this man is one man with vision, clear understanding of his surroundings, brilliant mind, strategic thinking, and with a pure heart..all that came to the surface as we spent 3 and a half hour chatting in the Starbucks in front of Selfridges..

the reason for my interviewing him, was to get information on things pertaining to MAlaysian student, as well as to get him to answer my questionnaire..but what i got was more than that..a wealth of knowledge, motivation and inspiration..for a while there, i thought i could take over the world :)

so, thank you sir, for your time and effort, and might i say, you cut a dashing figure in that suit and glasses...may Allah's blessings light your path always...

good news: i've gotten tickets to be in the audience of one of my favourite British shows...Ready, Steady, Cook! heheheh...its like Kuali meet Keluarga Singer :p they have this black host (pardon the political incorrectness), Ainsley Harriott, who's a chef himself (he has the cutest way of pouring stuff into pans), and 2 chefs (who are like on rotation basis, kira invited jugakla), and one guest for each chef..the chefs and guests are divided into 2 groups called red tomatoes and green peppers..the task is, the guests will bring a bag of raw goods, and the chefs have to figure out what culinary concoctions can they come up with in 20 minutes...and in the end, the audience will vote for either red tomatoes or green peppers to win judging by the food, by holding up placards that have the pictures of red tomatoes and green peppers on them..winners get 100 pounds, i think..after that, the chefs will be given a challenge between the 3 of them (Ainsley included), with a goodie bag yg the contents they do not know of, but this task has to be done within a shorter time period....

*sigh* i know..i'm L.A.M.E.....hehehehhe...but that's one of the best shows i've ever seen in UK...what happened was, we were watching yet another episode, and i wondered aloud, how eh, nak jadi audience diorang? and that was last month...*gile lambat nak realise* so, i went onto the website, and discovered that there's a company that groups audiences for tv shows..so, i registered for as many shows as possible, with Ready Steady Cook being top priority..however, i also got invites to MTV TRL's first UK show at the brand new MTV studio at Leicester Square..but i didn't go for that, sbb 1. got no friend to go with, 2. takde baju *they wanted trendy ok* 3. serious takde mood...

but for Ready Steady Cook? anytime babeh! so, we're scheduled to go to the studios at East Putney on 2nd September, insya-Allah..whoopee!

bad news: my parents want me to stay. my award ceremony is on Dec 7. kalau balik, tak berbaloi, cuz, insya-Allah, will be going back for the ceremony. kalau tak balik, visa will die end of october. will be immigrant indefinably. i am torn between 2 choices. plus,i got positive feedback from a company in UK that i applied a job for. unfortunately, i'm on a student visa. so, no go. :(

nak balikkkk.....ma, can or not?

Bedtime stories for the grandchildren

Merah menyala oh jantungku
berdegup pantas keranamu
Haru biru fikiranku bila kau pergi jauh
Kehadiranmu mewarna kehidupanku

- Yusry's "Warna Kehidupan" -



The Totz has been complaining about how "pasrah" i've became, so i'll put her misery to rest..i will now tell you a bedtime story that i hope to pass on to my grandchildren..

it was a nice day..it started out just fine, with me and the Couz meeting up at Piccadilly Circus, then walked up to Carnaby Street to look at the beads shop, ogle at my beloved Puma shoes and up to Benetton at Oxford Circus..we decided earlier on to visit the newly-reopened Diana Memorial at Hyde PArk, so proceeded to get to Hyde Park Corner..

when we arrived, found that we were a little bit off the memorial's entrance, so began walking..but as it was a nice day, the walk was enjoyable, amidst the greenery, with the sun shining on our faces, and a slight cool breeze blowing...Diana's Memorial, in short, is a tribute to the late Princess..it consists of a donut shaped , how do i put it delicately, err longkang.. *i'm bad with visuals*, made out of granite..brief explaination: its supposed to represent her life, so it has fresh water coming out of a source at the head of the fountain, and the water flows into 2 directions, where it gushes over ridges or different shapes, and meets in a calm pool at the bottom..its supposed to be a placed enjoyed by people who loved her, and people are encouraged to err, interact with it..read: dunk whatever part of your body in it..so, as the water is fresh aka not recycled, and that the enclosed area does not permit any animals, we joined the many people dipping their legs( and tiny tots bathing in their undies) into the pool whilst enjoying the hot weather *damn sejuk, my kaki was like beku ok, kata granite..*

so,after a lunch of kebabs at Bayswater, the Couz decided to get a takeaway from Taza..so, there i was, minding my own business, reading a bunch of Islamic brochures *this guy shoved a brochure illustrating how Muslim women should dress to moi, who had on a tight, v-necked top with jeans that's not exactly baggy..malu! padan muke! *, while she queued up...next thing i knew, when i turned to look at her, she was talking to a decidedly Arab looking fella..so, when he left, i nudged her and said, "besfren baru eh.." to which, she, of course denied..

next thing i knew, he came up to me and asked if i was from Malaysia..and i said yes..and he went, is that your friend? while indicating the Couz..yes..can i get her number?...well, wahey!! i was already grinning by that time, but i responsibly (:p) said, no, u have to ask her that yourself!..do you think she'll give me her number? ..lerr, tanyelaa die...so, he told me to hang around, while he goes away to lock his car...i sneaked a peek to see what kind of clunker is he driving...alerrmak, midnight blue Mercedes C-180 Kompressor la beb!

when the Couz exited Taza, i quickly told her what happened, she freaked, and as we made our getaway, he caught up with us, and with his charms (:p) managed to extract the Couz's number..and called her up on the bus we took to Selfridges after that..a coupla times, if i may add...

In Selfridges, as yours truly was looking at Puma shoes and trying some on, he called her up to meet up..and dalam sebesar-besar Selfridges tu, he managed to find us! so those two, ahem, smittened-ones chatted away, as me, myself and i tried on like 500 shoes and critically examine each one in 2 different mirrors to give them some time to berborak..bak kata pepatah melayu, kasi cann laaa...

when i finally finished trying on every single pair of shoes there, he invited us to have coffee with him, to which the Couz politely declined..he was quite persistent (he loved her eyes btw), but the Couz is also rather stubborn :p and he offered us a ride to our busstop..that we agreed to..but, as we reached his car, which was conveniently parked by the side entrance, and he ran to say hi to a few friends across the road, we were suddenly like, omigod malu!! and tried to make a getaway, again..not successful, as he earnestly claimed he doesn't eat people...

as i sat back on the plush seat of the car, we found out more about himself..he apparently works for a royalty in Dubai, have travelled to MAlaysia before (hence, knows teh tarik, bangsar, roti bom..figure out the connection), and have been to quite a number of countries (he can even manage simple thai words)..and finally, dropped us near our bus stop, with apologies and thanks...

and that, my grandchildren, is one of Nana's distant memories from those London days..the end.

p/s: its funny how i thought leaving Malaysia would mean leaving out situations that would make me feel like a third wheel aka lamp post..tak sangka kat London pun boleh camtu..

p/p/s: camne Couz? ok tak my version? :p

Of Love..

Although we've come to the End Of The Road
Still I can't let you go
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Come to the End of the Road
Still I can't let you go
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you

- Boyz 2 Men's "End of the Road" -

ever remembered that period of time when you thought that being in love was the most beautiful thing in the world? for many out there, i'm pretty sure that this feelings actually tingles BEFORE you experience your first (and what you thought was your only) love...it feels as if the world has been washed, and everything is sparkling...the sun shines a little bit brighter, and whenever you feel a little bit melancholic, the rain would beat down gently on your windowpanes, just so u can gaze outside, and dream of sharing the umbrella with that special someone...

and remember how every song seems to echo your thoughts, and how you feel? and how you would feel poetic, hence scribble bits and pieces of verses to illustrate how you feel about that certain someone? you prolly have a little scrapbook that contains these mementos..and quotes such as "Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt that I love." which is, by the way, from Shakespeare, and you thought Romeo and Juliet, not to mention Clueless, Can't Hardly Wait, and She's All That, romances of the epic variety..

well, i do... :p

and, i've come to the end of that road...

as of now, i'm prolly a little more cynical about this thing call LURRVE..even though with no experiences whatsoever, my ideals have changed as i (hopefully) mature..its easy to maintain those fantasies when you're much younger, and think that you'll live happily ever after..it's easy to think that 2 person in love will remain faithful and in love with each other for as long as they shall live, when you have All 4 One's "I Swear" in the background....in short, it was much easier back then..

what i now think about is, compatibility...i think that would be my guiding light for any romantic endeavours....no more "love = friendship (pyaarr dosti he)", no more sweet words peppered in sentences, no more romantic gestures in form of roses, teddybears, or fererro rochers...

don't get me wrong..i do believe in soulmates, and i (secretly) adore sweet nothings in physical and intangible form...but i also SEE better now..i read about elderly men who have affairs with sweet young things (SYT)..i read about competitiveness in the race for capturing a young, rich and handsome husband..i flipped through ads that promotes eternal beauty and youthfulness, just so a woman can always appear attractive to her men, in hope that they might not stray...

i witness older men, in classic pleated pants sway to the booming rhythms of Daft Punk at those nightspots that overcharges for parking..i find more and more young couples drift away after 2.5 kids, and some, divorced before the age of 30/first umrah performed together..i lived to tell the tale of an actual four-wived man, who scours the Yahoo Personals for more victims...

and i guess that has made me a little cynical...what a shame...

however, my ray of light would always be, yes, i'm totally in love with "You've Got Mail" and "Beautiful Life"..and as long as i can smile at the antics of a member of the opposite sex that i deem comel..i think i can still be saved...

Its that time of the year again.

Nobody loves me
Everybody hates me
I'm gonna eat some worms
Big fat juicy ones
Long thin slimy ones
See, how they wriggle and squirm...

- The Worm Song -

Anybody remembers that song? The Worm Song, was one of the insanely weird songs that us Girl GUides sang during those days, back when those turqoise blue pinafores were the height of fashion *not!*..don't get me wrong, i love my weird Guides songs! the one about Joe with his butter churner *so churn the butter with your left hand, chuch, chuch, chuch..* ..nemind, may not be making any sense here, cept only to fellow 1st and 7th Cos guides..

i guess the song, today, reminds me of how easy actually back then,it was for me, decision wise...i didn't have to make any life-altering decisions, as everything was planned by my parents..sure, i get the occasional, "ok, malam nie kita nak makan mana? 15!!! "...but, major ones? nada! so, i guess i was a little spoilt in that category, as i let things fall into place whenever any decisions are made for me, and i was certain at times, that everything would turn out for the best..as its my parents wishes kan, berkat la kot..

well, times moved on, and i find that the first time i had to make a major decision was when deciding which stream to go into in high school *yawn*..my parents, were like, its your choice..and i kinda thought it was cool, as they didn't pressure me to go into the science stream as that's where you want to be to be picked out for university entrances..err, then again, in my case, it wasn't...

deciding which uni and which courses to study for was also another decision-making milestone for me...well, suffice to say, i think i've learned that whichever uni or course i chose, it would have yielded excellent experiences...and i was very glad i chose what i did..alhamdulillah...

jobs wise? well, that also made me sat down for a bit, between those midday Phillipino dramas, and Malay series reruns post-graduation, to think about what i actually want, which direction my life should be in, and would the money cover my indulgences...nahh, the last bit was scrapped..as it turned out, i brought cheese sandwiches for lunch for a couple of months *tak kurus pun aku*..

deciding where to go for my Masters was, ultimately, the most liberating one..it was the one that gave me a sense of empowerment as i lug my heavy suitcases up the Underground staircases to move to where i thought my heart belong...

and now, the time has come once again....decisions, decisions...it seems as if a pattern has emerged..whenever July/August comes by, i find myself contemplating what to do, and weighing pros and cons..for three years in a row dah nie.. unfortunately, the same problem remains...

hati dan perasaan yang bertakhta di atas segala tingkahlaku dan kata-kata...adakah hati dan perasaan kali ini akan bertitah supaya tingkah laku dan kata-kata tunduk seperti masa-masa lalu? atau, adakah tingkah laku dan kata-kata akan mengendahkan hati dan perasaan untuk pertama kalinya? mungkinkah diam pengganti bicara akan menyelesaikan segala sengketa? atau, adakah sengketa cuma pergelutan emosi dan logika yang boleh dipadamkan dengan cita-cita melangit?

mungkinkah segalanya akan terjawab...?

Stop. Look. Turn.

Cinta sejati
Tak akan pernah mati
Selalu menghiasi
Ketulusan cinta ini

- Ari Lasso's "Cinta Sejati" -

Today, me and the cousin went to the Camden Markets, cuz she's never been there...so, after waking up late, due to some late-night-surfing-for-wedding-photos-and-the-like..as always, Camden never fails to offer something quirky to us...she managed to get away with really, really cool t-shirts, and i, a funky piece of jewelry *menghabiskan duit betul!* had halal mexican fajitas and nachos for lunch..we even met with a Malaysian who has his own stall in the markets and offered us some discounts...hehehe, perks of meeting up with another Malaysian trader..after Camden, we went to my school for prayers, and then ronda-ronda kat Angel...Borders, this mega bookstore, is having a major 3 for 2 sales on thier books, and i'm sooo tempted to get Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code and Angels & Demons, tapi kemut :p

the cousin asked, are you gonna miss this place? that's when i stopped. to look, and turn..

in the midst of me trying to finish up my work, and to accomodate everything on my to-do list, i realised i have less than enough time here in LOndon...there are lots more that i want to do, and places i want to go...

i want to take a leisurely stroll in the parks, and stop to read a book under the shade of a big tree..

i want to take long bus rides, and look at the houses and shops passing by...

i want to browse for second hand books in the markets...

i want to be entertained by those buskers underground, and that one mediterranean boy who plays the accordion on the trains, who prolly only knows the notes to Lambada...

i want to watch more theatre shows, musicals, and live music offering...

i want to attend more forums, talks and courses...

i want to get my hair cut free by those Tony and Guys students...

i want to have traditional english tea with scones and cream...

i want to see Greenwich, Canary Wharf, Kew Gardens, Stonehenge, Cornwall, Wales..arrghhh..semua laa!

as much as i'm looking forward to go back, i know i'm going to miss this place dreadfully..i know, as i knew when i left kindy, primary school, secondary school, university, my previous office, that THINGS will never be the same..i will never go back to the days of being a postgraduate student in one of the most vibrant cities in the world...and if i come back once again, it will be on a different level, as i would be stranger...will LOndon embrace me again then?

Multiple entries..

Sayangku dengarkan aku
Tak mungkin ku melepasmu
Bawalah cintaku bersamamu
Kar'na ku tetap milikmu selamanya 'kan abadi s'lalu

- Dygta's "Tetap Milikmu" -


its rare for me to be doing this aka multiple entries in a day thing..but what the heck...i need to get this off my chest...

i used to think that i'm a very tolerant person, almost to the point of being a hypocrite..i try to maintain peace with people i do not like due to certain misunderstandings or differences..or i try to ignore the fact that they may not like me for what i did, just so i can maintain the perfect balance of my world..i hate conflicts...i don't like to be unfriendly for no particular reason, especially NOT because my friends are doing it, or otherwise...

so, i'd break the ice whenever i can, be as sweet as possible, maintain a steady chatter and stream of voice, and appear to be on the very best terms with everyone...i think i kinda enjoyed it, as it made me feel that the world is filled with people i can get along with...and most of the time, the other party will prolly melt a little, and later, resume our normal chats...

the thing is, lately, i encountered a behaviour that made me uneasy, and it was something that i couldn't bring myself to agree on...i felt so strongly about it, that i can't even talk to the person, do not want to be in the same vicinity, and most definitely, do not want to look at that said individual...

i don't know if that's a sign that i've grown up/matured....but, it felt really strongly, that i didn't even bother to open my mouth to make idle talk...and, i was thinking, when did i change? when did this turn of behaviour took place? have i become less of the hypocrite i was?

i think sooner or later, i'd prolly melt down myself, and regard this in passing as a mere phase in my life..but at the moment, i think it might take me some time before i can be sincere to that person again...

newsflash: i'm DISILLUSIONED.....*sigh* why, oh why, do you lead me into thinking that you might be the next best thing that could happen to me? why, oh why, did i think we could have a future together? why, oh why, did i believe in my fickle vision?

why, oh why, don't u look like your friendster picture??!!!!

*padan muka awak Dalie..* :p

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

- Keane's "Somewhere Only We Know" -


i dunnolaa what's wrong with my left foot lately..semenjak balik dari ronda-ronda in Spain, its been sore..setiap kali balik dari jalan-jalan, it'll be sore, as if dah terple-ot..at first i thought it was because of my shoes, namely, the pointy toed one with the tiny heel that i insist on using even though its not practical for long walks..*but ok je*..so, i switched to my flat loafers..pun sakit..maybe i have to resort to my sneakers kot..but panas!! so, bear with it lorr....

Dhira and her brother arrived early Tuesday morning..surprisingly, the freaking bus was full at 2 am...and she was a little bit unlucky, as there was this drunken guy who came and sat behind her, and slip his fingers between her seat...eeekkkk!!! cepat2 minah tu tukar tempat..hehehe...other than that, it was allright, right down to the sleeping arrangements...full house la katakan...

we took them round London yesterday..started off at Buckingham Palace where we missed the changing guards, sebab yours truly and co. lambat bangun and siap :p then walked right down to Trafalgar Sq., where my cousin realized her dreams to climb up to those lions....we left them vor about 1/2 hour at the National Gallery as Dhira's bro wanted to check out the paintings...me, AInor, and Tina Ninja went in search for the nearest Starbucks...i've finally overcome my fear of coffee! well, not really finally as in dah boleh minum triple espresso cam dalam citer Swordfish, but yeah, i managed a frappucino, which is prolly tak aci for some coffee purist... :p

then we took them right down to Big Ben, HOuse of PArliament, and finally to London Eye...the bought some souveniers along the way, which reminds me, that souvenirs are also cheap there, and they have the cutest kiddy t-shirts on sale too...dahlaa si Ainor membuat kami malu, with asking the guy manning the stalls if we would be able to fit into those shirts..mamat tu selamba je pandang kitorang up and down, and yeah, they can fit the largest size...i don't know if to feel flattered or just plain wonky..

Dhira and her bro planned on staying at the Asrama Mara in Bayswater, so we shoot off to that part of town..via the new Malaysia Hall, which is STILL not open, even for prayers...please, do make my day, and ask them why even their PRAYER ROOM is not open.i hate to think what kind of image we're projecting here..and thinking about it really makes me sick...

fortunately, met En Salahudin at the Asramara and told him about our situation, and he made the arrangements..alhamdulillah...really, really nice guy...leaps tu, shoot off to HArd Rock Store as they wanted to get some t-shirts...and then, shoot back to MAwar on Edgeware Rd.

Makan cam tak ingat dunia..met some Malay girls whom we've met once on our Notts Games' trip...so borak2 jap..alhamdulillah, managed to approach the subject of my dissertation, and they've agreed to participate...unfortunately, due to my lack of guy friends, my sample is largely consisting of female respondents..how eh to get more males to respond? hmm...

after dinner, it was 2 long bus rides back home to pick up their stuff, and another 2 bus trips back to Bayswater to send them off..got them settled in, then me and my cousin went back to Piccadily Circus to catch the 38 home..tapi sempat lagi tu gi Boots Pharmacy to check out the makeups..hahhaha! giler, tengah-tengah malam emerged from the store with eyeliner and gloss :p

malasnye nak buat kejer..the girls are going off to Lillywhites to get jerseys for their people...nak ikut ke tak?

Pit-Stop

Jika mimpi masa silam
Bisa kusimpan dalam kaca
Jadi perhiasan
Pasti aku abadikan
Zaman riang kanak-kanak
Pabila hujan mengundang
Suasana bahagia
Dalam hidup yang seindah
Mimpi yang tidak pernah
Melukakan perasaan...

- Ella's "Layar Impian" -

lately nie, our room menjadi tempat persinggahan for many people...we've had our new housemate Yantey over for a while, cuz Kak Iza's hubby is in town (for their enniversary, which i think is sweet, so read: remembering anniversaries is important! :p ) ..and on Friday, cousinku, came over from Birm, for her last rendezvous in London, before going back for good in about 3 weeks time..jealousnye!! gah! and, tonight, we're waiting for our long lost friend from Germany to arrive....so, its gonna be a full house tonight....

i think its fun to have people around, although, my priorities seemed to have flown out of the window, as i indulge in retail therapy :p and pusing2 London as if i've just arrived..like, for instance, on Friday, did the touristy thing and visited Tower of London, Tower Bridge, and St Khaterine's Docks...amik2 gambar, had creamy ice-creams, and visited a fair nearby...

on Sunday, i accompanied them on their retail therapy, and met my cousin at Petticoat Lane! Imagine! sangat la kecik dunia..i know he's coming with his family and all, but i didn't expect to meet him until he calls me up...he has my glasses btw, and i've suffered with my sengeted specs for quite a while, that i think my vision has been totally altered...

my dissertation is coming along well, alhamdulillah...i've forwarded my questionnaires around, and i've got some help from many, many people..so, its all good...one good thing that come out of it, was, that i was able to get in touch with a "somebody" within the British Higher Education/Malaysian students system..and pihak mereka wants to set up a meeting next week!..*gulps* ..err, now i have to be prepared for interrogation la pulak..but that should be good kan? the fact that somebody actually takes the time to listen to a last-minute request...

and, to avoid being a statistic in Idlan's prediction that the minute Akademi Fantasia's final concert ends, about 300 blogger will go online and blog about it, i will only reserve a short comment for it :p we ACTUALLY managed to get the last bits on ERA digital radio, so, dapat laa dengar sikit2....and yeah, congratulations to the winner! and Sab, kalo nak hantar cd final concert tu, ,kecik tapak tangan kitorang :)

today started out as mendung as my mood, but the kuehtiow goreng certainly perked up all weird spirits....hehehe....and, Nonz, love those pics!

alamak, Ainor dah all siap to go pick Cik DHira up...gotta change also then..toodles!

As the fever climaxes...

And if I ever fall in love again
I will be sure that the lady is a friend
and if I ever fall in love so true
I will be sure that the lady's just like you

- Shai's "If I Ever Fall In Love Again" -



one month broadband connection : GBP 33
a pack of rewritable cds : GBP 5
watching Akademi Fantasia videoclips from across the world: PRICELESS....

and how true is that :p

for the past 5 weeks, my roomie and i have been feverishly downloading, albeit err not so legally *what am i revealing here?!* the clips from Akademi Fantasia 2...and the fever, dear Masyoo, is almost equally as bad...alhtough there are no nightly diaries to whet our appetites, be assured that our screams would prolly resound as loud as those screaming at home/mamak gerais/the MPPJ civic hall while watching the weekly concerts....

i must admit, the contestants this year is waay better than the ones last year...the ones last year had the novelty of being pioneers on malaysian reality tv, but this year's contestants made reality tv a daily dosage for many, many malaysians...

personally, i think this year's contestants, have better voices, and are more versatile...and, without a doubt, very, very entertaining...we have Zahid, one of our favourites, who looks as if the stage and the songs belong to him :p ..then, there's my personal favourite, Kaer, who has the SWEETEST voice i've ever heard *boleh rival Reymee tuu in my department, and that's saying A LOT*...then we have the cutie-pie Adam, who provides minor eye-candy, and funky dnace moves at times...the vocal prowess Farah, who has never failed to impress with her high-ranging vocal abilities, not to mention having a beautifully unique voice....Linda, whom i think is so gorgeous, she reminds me faintly of Kate Winslet, AND, most importantly, does not wear a size XS...and the first guy on the show who made my bulu roma stood up at 90 degrees, the comel Bob..now, did i miss anyone out?

what i miss is..watching the freaking show on telly!!!!!!!!!! do you know how frustrating it is to watch it on a minimised windows screen?? its like, what did i miss, what did i miss? and the fact that we missed all the comments from the jurors...and Aznil interviewing them before the perfromances...and talking about them with my work colleagues as soon as i step into the office the next morning...

dem!

but the lovely people in Malaysia has made it possible for us to keep track of what's going on, sampai the tahap me and my mom can argue over Mas *let's not even GO there* and there was even a moment of contemplation where one of us *who would remain nameless* went, eh, you think kita patut undi tak? we have to exercise our rights!










as we review the clips all over again, going over our favourites, (mine personally being Bob's Jangan Bersedih Lagi, Kaer's Mentera Semerah Padi, and Linda's Akan ku Tunggu *for obvious reasons, duhh!* and of course, the damn cute Syurga Idaman, Zahid's Warna Kehidupan, and the group efforts of Memories and that JJ and Dayangku Intan song, lupe lak nama)..we wondered who would be the one to garner most votes and ultimately win the Citroen, which is btw, i think is a small fry compared to the big fishes out there who are waiting to NGAPP this kids once they step out of the Akademi...

besides, i've heard ura2s that some of them have been approached by the Grandaddy of sappy movies, Yusoff Haslam, for more sappy offerings to the Malaysian public...then i heard that ooh, they're getting designer togs for tomorrow night's show, impressive! then, those songs from those composers, not badd!

well, sweep the latest acts under the carpets, cuz imho, these kids are the next best thing to hit the entertainment industry...it would be such a waste if they're talents were to go unnoticed by the public who only wants to see pretty and glamorous faces on stage...susah sangat, i'll kumpul duit, and commision them all to sing at my wedding..ok tak? :p

so, who will win tomorrow night? Nonz, make sure you sms me once it's announced! have a good weekend all you beautiful people :)

Questionnaire

Ok..this is the list of questions that's going out to students who once studied in the UK, are studying, or are GOING TO study in the UK...for those who are going to study in the UK, your co-operation is needed only in the first section...for the rest, please answer those sections applicable to you...

i don't mind how you answer it, i just want your genuine opinions..it doesn't matter if its in bullet points or anything, just as long as i can understand it...please, do state the reasons to your answers...

i would appreciate it, if you guys could email it back to me, or, any other way of getting back your responses and answers to me...

thank you very much, your co-operation is much, much appreciated..have a nice day ppl!


Questions:

1. General information about the interviewee:

1. Name, Age, Gender, Marital status

2. Which university do/did you go to, and what courses are/were you studying for? How long ago was that?

Pre-UK

1. What is/was on your checklist before deciding on a university, course and location? What are/were the factors that you needed to know about?

2. Why do/did you choose to go to the UK rather than other countries (e.g. course, university, supervisor)

3. List down the factors that made you choose the UK. List the reasons why.

4. Who are/were the parties involved in making the decision? (e.g. parents, teachers, mentors, counselors, family members, friends, etc.) Do/Did their opinion mattered? Why? Do/Did you consult a UK student or previous scholar?

5. If the decision were totally up to you, would you have chosen to go other countries? Why?

In the UK

1. How do/did you find the British Higher Education Experience?

2. Compared to where you’ve previously studied before, what are the major differences? What are the pros and cons?

3. What do/did you find most interesting about your course and university?

4. What do/did you find most interesting about studying in the UK?

5. Do/Did the university assist you well enough with personal and educational matters?

6. Do/Did they provide you with relevant information when you need it?

7. What are your views on your accommodations, lifestyle, finances, working employment, food, weather, and the people?

8. Do/Did you have a problem with loneliness and being homesick? How do/did you cope with it?

Post Graduation

1. Would you recommend your university and courses? Would you go back to the same institution for further studies? Why?

2. How would you say by studying in the UK and attending British Higher Education has fufill your needs? Did you have any experiences otherwise which might change your mind (eg, a year abroad, internships, etc.)

3. Malaysia is looking into opportunities for sending students abroad to countries which do not use English as a medium of teaching (e.g. Germany, France, Russia, Japan, Indonesia, India, Ukraine, etc.) Would you choose these places instead of the UK given the opportunity? Why?

Acknowledgements

Take good care of my baby
don't you ever make her cry
Just let the love surround her
paint the rainbow all around her
Don't let her see a cloudy sky

- Kenny Price's "Take Good Care of My Baby" -

as of now, my life consists of my dissertation, daily food and liquid intakes, sleepless dreams (panas sangat, how to dream?!), and the tinyglimmer of hope beyond the horizon that i can finish everything on time, and get my butt back to MAlaysian soil in one piece...

well, this has at least taught me 2 things:

1. i have really, really nice friends and acquaintances...truly..and i'll forever be grateful to them...i'm not saying that you guys are not nice before this, but by responding to my calls of help has made me realised how lucky i am to be friends or to at least know, such wonderful people...i'm gonna put up my acknowledgements here lest i forget to do so in the future, for even if my life crushes because of this dissertation, i still have you guys as my friend...

namely: Nads, Idlan, Tina, Faren, Docteejay, Nik Nadzru, Kown, Afti, Neri (for offering dear), Gege, Afie, Safurah, Zrett, Huda, and scores other i can't remember at this moment...thank you for being generous with your time, and making the effort..i am truly blessed..

special mention to Kown - for that note on Friendster..even tho we hardly spoke more than 10 sentences before this back in uni or anywhere else, the fact that you took the time out to help me then really, really made my day...for that, i will always be thankful..

and another special mention to Syazzie who will prolly never make it to this site - thank you for making me see that this world can offer so much more..all this while i was thinking of what i'm gonna owe u wonderful people, he came up with "kan tolong kawan tu dapat banyak pahala..." ..for that, i'm thankful, and even if i'm on the verge of sappiness here, it made me realised how shallow i can be at times, and how it only takes that one line to take me back to reality, and be thankful to God, and to put my efforts and life into perspective again...

2. last minute JUST doesn't pay, does it?
and does that puts an idea into your head, Dalie? NOOOO! look what you've done..yes, ruined the last bit of your freedom here in the UK....and, YES,you deserve what's coming to you, cuz you have been a very, very bad girl....let this be a lesson to you....capisce?!

and kudos to those who brighten up my days with messages on YM, my only link to the outside world..that, and my newly-opened window, of course (dah nearly setahun living in this room, just realised that the WINDOW can actually be lifted *rolls eyes* )

other than that, the heat has been unbearable, the rain is such a welcoming sight, and i STILL wanna go home....

Mega Important Quickie:

This is what i posted on Friendster, but i'll post it here as well to illustrate the IMPORTANCE (read: time running out on me!) of this..here goes...

Hie, you guys..this is a cry of help from me..i'm doing my Masters dissertation right now on British Education and Malaysian students perceptions on it (how boring..i know!) anyhoo, would really appreciate it if you guys would volunteer to be interviewed by myself...by you guys, i mean, students studying in the UK, or have experienced studying in the UK, or have friends (most importantly) studying in the UK who would not mind being a part of my research...this is a SERIOUS call for help (in case u guys remember me as being not a very serious person, but this time i am!) would appreciate it soo much..please get in touch with me via email: dalie_lah@hotmail.com, dalie_wink@yahoo.com, YM id: dalie_wink, or through my blog: curlylocks.blogspot.com.....thank you so much! err, would reward with food whenever possible hehehe..insya-Allah...thanks!