FYI, I hate her..but this is just too catchy...

Oh, you got me hatin' on the club
'Cause you took my love
Oh you took my love
Now you got me like whoahhh(why..)
You got me hatin' on the club(why..)
You took my love(why..)
Why'd you have to take my love(why..)
Whoahh...

- Rihanna’s “Hatin’ On The Club” -

I guess we can never, ever, change a person’s perception towards us..no matter how hard we try.

I’ve (unfortunately) been promoted to a post within a social entity in my organization. This is, despite, my reservations and me saying out loud to the President, “NO!”. But since I seem to be a convenient choice (God only knows how bad I am at these things actuallynyer), hence I was elected without my prior consent. And me, being the doormat I can be, accepted the post, minus kicking and screaming, except for a smattering of grumbling.

Of course, this prompted (as could be expected) rumblings within the entity and (I’m sure) within the organization on how “power-crazy” I can be. Read: Gila Kuasa.

“Nyahhhh, korang ingat mak naakkkk sangat ke post tuuuu??????????? Tolong la nyahhh, mak kalo boleh nak campak jauh-jauh benda-benda nie and hidup aman damai tanpa gangguan daripada anasir-anasir yang tak sihat nieeee!!!”

Can you tell i’m stressed?

In the first place, my position within this social entity pun was just as a freaking assistant, of which I was majorly grateful as I was supposed to work for the Diva (all hail the Diva!). But the Diva just had to leave kan?!! *looks pointed with daggers in eyes at Diva, who I’m sure is whistling and looking away right now..not that he can whistle properly pun..well, maybe he can….at the right men, that is*

Bila Diva itu blah, terpaksa laa mak amik position tu kan? Again, (but for the first time) as a convenient choice. Luckily, I proved my mettle and managed to get a few things done, of course, not without the help of everyone else. So, fine, that kinda cemented my position. Lantakla if I don’t have enough strength (or enthusiasm) to carry out the rest of the intended activities.

How can I help it if the person who used to hold the post I now had to assume, found herself incapable of working with *some of* us and suddenly decided she wants her life back?

And can I help it if I’m a convenient choice? Korang ingat best sangat ke jadi second choice/best nie? *Seems to be my destiny in life*

So, please. I so don’t need you people, messing up my already messed up life, not cheering me on, giving me co-operation just because you have to and because I supposedly hold this stupid title. I just want to get my job done, and retire from all these nonsense next year. Gawd, that’s 12 more months.

I’ve been told karma’s a bitch, so yeah, I wish you luck in your encounter with her.

What am I again?

Apakah aku
Hanya boneka yang sering engkau mainkan
Yang dikawal oleh jari-jarimu
Ku punya hati dan perasaan pernahkah engkau fikirkan
Cukup cukup oh cukuplah

- Meet Uncle Hussein’s “Lagu Untukmu” -

I woke up this morning, feeling pretty wretched. I turned, snuggled in deeper and ignored Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop The Music”, which happens to be my handphone alarm tone. However, the next 15 minutes did not warrant me a contented snooze. I got up, exchanged the intended kebaya nyonya I was planning on wearing to a salmon pink baju kurung, got ready and drove off to work. All the while feeling pretty lousy. Did not help that the mother just had to make cutting comments in the morning.

On the way to work, I soothe myself by listening to Meet Uncle Hussein’s “Lagu Untukmu”, while I drummed out the beats on my steering wheel. Tengok-tengok my car slid to the back and the car behind me (which, I must say, was following at quite a close range, so padan muka la kan) had to honk at me when I came too close haha. Grr.

Upon arriving the office, the auto sliding door refused to slide open…what the..?? Then this elderly Indian man, who came through the same door, looked at my bewildered face, and sarcastically said, “come closer to the door la, then it will open..”. Okaayy uncle, thanks a lot for pointing THAT out. I ended up fuming at myself and at that uncle, so in order to pacify myself I decided to commit the sin of buying expensive breakfast. Food has always been the best and the least disappointing remedy.

So I walked into Starbucks. Yes, please shoot me now. But I’ve been craving for those breakfast bagels ever since I saw them tantalizing me on those advertisement buntings months ago. And lo behold, I met the great Nads. This is after, what, more than 10 years?! We exchanged hugs, numbers and of course promised to keep in touch via Facebook. Amazing. Nads beli breakfast kat Starbucks jugak, uollls.

So, there was already a spring in my step then. The yummy breakfast did help, unfortunately, so did those mini Toblerone bars that I could not resist downing after. Then a short meeting with the faithful assistant and a longer phone call confirming details of upcoming event kinda sealed the morning’s wretchedness shut.

*Or so she thinks*

Gawd, I’m just looking forward to my practice session later.