my personal, personal favorites...

Vonda Shepard - I Only Want to be with You

I don't know what it is that makes me love you so
I only know I never want to let you go
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me

It happens to be true
I only want to be with you

It doesn't matter where you go or what you do
I wanna spend each moment of the day with you
Look what has happened with just one kiss
I never knew that I could be in love like this

It's crazy but it's true
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance

Now listen honey, I just wanna be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care
'Cause you started something, can't you see
That ever since we've met you've had a hold on me

No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

You stopped and smiled at me, asked me if I'd care to dance
I fell into your open arms and I didn't stand a chance
Now listen honey, I just want to be beside you everywhere
As long as we're together honey I don't care

'Cause you started something can't you see
That ever since we met you've had a hold on me

No matter what you do
I only want to be with you
No matter what you do
I only want to be with you

Vonda Shepard - You Belong to Me

See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darling all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so lonesome without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too
And blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me

Maybe you'll be lonesome too
And blue


Vonda Shepard - For Once in My Life

For once in my life
I have someone who needs me
Someone I've needed so long
For once unafraid
I can go where life leads me
And somehow I know I'll be strong

For once I can touch
What my heart used to dream of
Long before I knew
Someone warm like you
Could make my dreams come true

For once in my life
I won't let sorrow hurt me
Not like it's hurt me before, oh
For once I've got someone
I know won't desert me
'Cause I'm not alone anymore

For once I can say
This is mine, you can't take it
As long as I've got love I know I can make it
For once in my life
I've got someone who needs me

and finally, the extremely funky...

Barry White - You're the First, the Last, My Everything

We got it together, didn't we?
Nobody but you and me.
We got it together, baby.

My first, my last, my everything,
And the answer to all my dreams.
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star.
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are.

I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
You're, you're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore.
You're the first, my last, my everything.

In you I've found so many things,
A love so new, only you could bring.
Can't you see if you,
You'll make me feel this way,
You're like a first morning dew on a brand new day.

I see so many ways that I can love you,
'Till the day I die....
You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a dream.
You're my first, my last, my everything.

a tribute to ally mcbeal...

Vonda Shepard - Searchin' My Soul

I've been down this road walkin' the line
That's painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can't hide

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now I'm ready to sing

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

i have recently discovered why my shoes didn't hurt yesterday but like, ouch, today...u'r supposed to reduce the friction between the heels and the shoes...so yesterday, as an experiment i applied balm to the sore spots..and everything was all dandy...today, in my hurry, without brushing my hair or putting on make up, i rushed into the car without thinking about the balm..as i watched the auto gate to my house swung shut, i suddenly remembered its significance...hahahah...guess who had an ouch-ouch walk this morning? yup...moi...thank goodness for plasters tho'...handy thing to keep in ur bags ladies...we owe it all to hansaplast..

last night was the verdict that my tearducts has not fail me...they showed the finale for ally mcbeal...at least i think it was..wasted buckets of tears over it, so it'd better be the last episode...yup...called a dear friend after that, sobbing like crazy...bet she was shocked..hehehe, i was shocked myself at the wave of emotions i was experiencing...but it was one of those things...it's like, when you carry a bundle of memories with you, sad or fun ones..something tiny can just trigger it and caused it to unravel...well, that was last night's episode for me...for the past few years, the show has mean something to me..it was always associated to my life then..like i could relate to it...memories of watching it with my housemates (after i bugged them and made them watch the whole thing, haha), rushing back from a late class, and missing dinner just for it...all the episodes seem so poignant, touches my very core...hence, my devotion to it...

and last night, most of the original cast were there..and it seems so sad, so final...(well, it was the last episode)..flashbacks of the past...and a hint of her future...what got me was when billy's (ghost?) came back to say goodbye...see, billy only comes back if ally has a major problem, so last night, her farewell was a sign that she won't be needing him anymore...what really brought on the tears was when he said.."with all my heart" and placed her hands on her heart...sheesh..i'm so sentimental...

and all these years, there has been all kinds of changes, people developing characters..discovering their true selves...that's what makes up a good run of series...what started out as a zany comedy/drama ends up still zany, but with a more matured cast...they have grown along with the show too...and like everything else, people move on, life goes on...

it was a very, very good ending..and like ally said, if she weren't happy, why else would she be crying...?

a promise is a promise... :)

DAN..

Dan...
Bila besok datang kembali
Seperti sedia kala dimana kau bisa bercanda

Dan...
Perlahan kaupun, lupakan aku
Mimpi burukmu
Dimana t'lah kutancapkan duri tajam
Kaupun menangis, menangis sedih
Maafkan aku...

Dan...
Bukan maksudku, bukan inginku
Melukaimu sadarkah kau di sini 'kaupun terluka
Melupakanmu, menepikanmu
Maafkan aku

Lupakanlah/caci maki saja diriku
Bila itu bisa membuatmu kembali bersinar
Dan berpijar seperti dulu kala

Thoughts on...marriage..

had yummy lunch at klcc with two uni mates of mine...had assam laksa..finished all the gravy...simply scrumptious! talked about all our uni mates , and where they are right now...some are engaged, getting married soon, married..even pregnant!! let's hope my mom won't get any ideas once she hears this...
which brings me to a new train of thoughts...a few weeks ago, a childhood friend of mine got married...i haven't seen her in a long time..since secondary school years...when i saw her during the wedding reception, i got this pleasant surprise...she has blossomed into this beautiful young lady...so there i was, standing in line to give my best wishes..she was surprised to see me (must have thought i didn't know she was getting married)...well, i thought of meeting up with her again after all her wedding hoo-haa died down..it was a very short meeting..me going: congratulations!..she going: omigod! thank you for coming!..me going (while moving away to let the other guests swarm her): you're still staying in shah alam rite?..she then smile and waved distractedly...when it suddenly struck me...huh? how am i supposed to do this..? how am i supposed to have long girly talks with her? it seems so weird..! u might be thinking, hey, what's wrong with that? can't a married girl have friends?
i guess to me it seems weird..that's all..i can't imagine bouncing on her bed and gossiping all day long with her when her hubby might just be in the next room...how can i even be in their bedroom, a supposed sacred place for married couples? what's with all of us having busy schedules and only permit ourselves to the pleasures of socialising during weekends, won't those times be devoted to her spouse? how are we supposed to have girly nights outs..? would that be possible?
call me old-fashioned, but i think that once a girl gets married, 95% of her time goes to her family..granted, we should keep our girlfriends..but i guess things will never quite be the same...i dunno..i guess there are some who keeps up with their single lifestyles...
which is why i was never keen on the idea of marrying at an early age...you might miss out on the tiny, almost insignificant but definitely rewarding details that makes up your youth...but, hey, who am i to say that marrying early doesn't have its perks..? :)

alhamdulillah...my shoes don't hurt anymore...
so, had a pleasant walk from the lrt station at klcc to my office...was early out and there weren't many cars..passed by delifrance..delicious smells of sandwiches and buttery croissants wafted out to greet my eager nose and tastebuds..but nope...stick to the diet...besides, haven't got much liquid cash to burn, heheheh...picked up the newspaper along the way...they provide it free at selected lrt stations...hmm...284 quarantined for SARS...uh-oh..that's major...better start taking proper precaution...my employers have began to distribute masks in the office...were making fun of it at first..but might have to start carrying it around...better to be safe than sorry...
hmm...a new week...wonder what'll happen today...?

during my long holiday after graduation, my brother commented on my lack of support for malay n english-language movies...specifically he said : U're always watching hindustan la, japanese la, indon movies la..now what??!! filipino dramas pulak?! go and watch some malay n english movieslaa..where's ur roots?!!.....hahaha..annoyed, he was...at that time i was busy shushing him as i was watching the exact filipino drama he was ranting about...heheheh...can't help itlaa...i'm easily swayed by the romance in those movies...hey, it wasn't as if i watched ALL the hindi movies, ALL the jap dramas..ALL the indon movies and dramas....and JUST one filipino drama...honestly that was it...

my foray into non malay/english form of visual pleasure started out with the ever-classic love story of kuch kuch hota hai...*sigh*...love that film...love the songs, shah rukh khan's facial expression (squeal!)..the total fantasy that surrounds the whole film...best of all, the love story...i am an insufferable romantic...hehehe...i then started my own collection of hindi movies...small,but very select few has made its way to this treasured collection of mine...suffice to say that shah rukh rule over them...heheheh...i like watching the costumes, the tradition, the gorgeous dances...the often-unbelievable plots and scenes...it just makes up a good hindi movie...

* listening to innuendo's nanti....my ultimate favorite group...

then it was on to japanese dramas...this craze started from the beautiful drama...Beautiful Life...starring Takuya Kimura (swoon!!) the 5-times winner for the Levi's Best Jeanist Award....an extremely yummy looking hunk (whoever uses hunk anymore?! how old skool, hehehe)..and the very talented Takako Tokiwa...hahaha..as a result there are now a stack of japanese dramas on my bookcase...of,oh approximately 48 vcds (:p)....i remembered sacrificing my evenings and late nights to them jap dramas on our local channels...shed tears over them too...what IS with my overactive tear ducts?!...King Takuya lords over this collection...hehehe, i was very strict with the borrowers of my jap dramas...not more than a week!!! or i'll personally hunt them down, muahahaha...among my favorites are Love Revolution (get it..it's really good...)

*currently listening to letter to cleo's i want you to want me...didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you crying...whoops, hehehe...*

anyways...Ada Apa Dengan Cinta was the only indonesian movie that totally captured my heart, soul, everything....(only that one movie, lil bro)...what can i say? beautiful, captivating, grips my heart strings and totally reduces me to tears...moving, very inspiring....within a week from purchasing my much-coveted a2dc vcd,its website became the permanent fixture on my office's pc...i was telling all my friends about it, bugging them to watch it...unfortunately, only a few could relate to me...hmmm, wonder why? anyways, was totally crazy for nico saputra..heheheh...brooding eyes, a don't-care attitude, the careless swagger and poise...*sigh*...lovely, just lovely...and its soundtrack...? was the only thing i listened to for weeks after getting it...wonderful tunes, meaningful lyrics, unforgettable melodies....and it's poetic element..? makes me wanna write beautiful verses myself...did a spot of spring cleaning earlier today, and found cuttings from the newspaper on their visit to good ole m'sia...hehehe...i actually kept those things...

during my unemployment period...i was stuck on the the filipino drama that was showing on our local channel...Mula Sa Puso..that was very interesting...kept me busy during those hot afternoons...a soap-opera type of drama that went on for almost 10 months...long before it ended, i had already started working and couldn't keep up with the series...gorgeous cast...a tale of teenage romance that went through many hurdles (hence the many episodes) and finally triumphed in the end...hehhehe..picked up a few filipino words along the way...see? all these foreign movies/dramas are educational as well as entertaining.....

i love happy endings...altho' if it ends sadly, it'd better be equally good as well!!

whew...had a really tiring day...woke up early to accompany my sis to the bank..seems like whenever we go to the bank together, our clothes always match...aww...how cute...hope those ppl over there didn't think that i was her mom!! anyways, went to midvalley to get my bro n dad their birthday prezzies.....unfortunately, i think we got more "gifts" for ouselves than for them!! hehehe...whoops! remember the devil's nifty toy..? yup, got a workout today....poor me..i'm considering locking it up in some safety box until i could settle all the payments...
so, got this really cool football from nike for my bro...it's all metallic silver with a few MU logos on it..(his favorite team)..and no, it's his favorite team NOT for all the hype surrounding the team..but ever since he knows how to operate the vcr, he's been taping their games, buying videotapes of their games..tapes of Cantona, Giggs (his two favorite players)....i remember..(getting nostalgic here..) when we're were younger attending school, my mom would not allow us to watch the tv on weekday nites..so, like after midnight, we would sneak downstairs to watch tv or vidtapes, hehehehe.....i could usually find him stretched on the couch watching ANOTHER football game(with the volume at its minimum)...hey, to me they look the same..but he's there, analyzing...kinda makes me proud to say that he's not a bad football player himself after all these years...heheheh...those tapes have since been relegated to the bottom drawer of our tv cabinet...
anyways, got a few things for my sis n myself...had lunch at the food junction, where we stuff ourselves silly with fetuccine carbonara, some steak/lamb combo n bruschetta....was kinda a reflected irony when i saw a family of mat sallehs sitting at the table next to us eating rice...hehehe...then we visited the kl fashion week exhibition..it was very interesting, altho' there weren't many exhibitors...zang toi had a booth there, tho'..and his mom was there...his collection is exquisite (am not trying to be eloquent here, it was really, really nice!!) the layout was really nice..lotsa oriental-inspired dresses hanging on mannequins and in this antique wardrobe...i think the theme was roses..or something like that..maybe springtime..cuz there were lots of floral element there...there was also a display of heirloom jewelleries...the types u see in malay classical movies...really gorgeous antique stuff..fine handicraft...i overheard this lady asking the exhibitors if they are considering selling some of the pieces...she was even enquiring the price range...then there was the loveliest nyonya kebayas on display...*sigh*..wish i have the figure to look good in them....so beautiful..by ang eng...price range? above RM 800 for a kebaya top...i say, give those ppl doing the embroidery in indonesia some business...wherever possible..go direct to them...trust me..it's totally worth it...
then it was all traipsing all over midvalley...there was so many ppl around..it is a good thing that they have such wide spaces that we don't have to struggle our way through...even met one of my oldest friends...believe it or not, we were in the same class at kindy, way back when we were 5..and we also went to the same primary school...doesn't sound weird? get this...our kindy was in setapak, kl...and our primary school was in subang jaya!! all the way across the klang valley!! it was by pure chance that i met up with her again in primary school..there was even a cute story about it..each class back then had to sacrifice a few minutes to pick up some rubbish around school...and it was our turn that day..apparently there was another class out picking rubbish...so there we were by the hibiscus bushes..when i saw her...my long lost friend...hhehehe....we stayed friends till standard six..by then we were already i the same class..haha..i did many naughty things with her in those early nineties...cycling all over without my mom knowing..going to the mall without our parents' knowledge..going swimming at the public pool...again without them knowing...sheesh...when i saw her just know, all these memories start to rush back into my mind...such fun times...well, got her number..so will probably meet up with her soon..with some other old classmates...
my sis n i walked until we couldn't walk anymore, sampai kaki nak tercabut..so we decided to go into mph to rest with a good book...hmm...such selection...which do i pick??!! my sis went straight to the self-help/teenage romance/what should i do if he seems interested-uninterested section..i wandered over to the interior design section and settled with a home decor book on houses in paris...quite interesting...flipped through a few pages...then went over to the fiction section...found one nice corner and Jemima J...yay! however, it was getting late, so i couldn't really stay that long...was tempted to put my name on the harry potter's latest book's reserve list..was even more tempted to purchase Jemima J..but had to restrain self..haha...will do it soon..(promise to self..) can't wait for the next harry potter book to finally come out!!
got home...took my brother out to shop for jeans (was really, really tired at that moment, but it is his birthday, so? sacrifice lorr...) he got himself some really cool-looking levi's...to cap of the busy day, had dinner with family...a saturday night ritual we have since like forever.....
full day huh? yup, u could say that...a dear friend called up later and we talked for about an hour (!!) hahah...girl talk...when will it ever end? she was bugging me to update my blog...so, this is what i'm doing..with my contact lenses screaming, Get Me Out Of Here!!!!
uh-oh..better tend to them...night.....

am currently listening to sheila on 7's Dan...love this song!! it's supposed to be a sad song, but listening to it makes me want to learn how to play drums...hmm, very interesting instrument..those drums..i once had a crush on a drummer...apparently, he's quite good at it, altho' i have yet to see any action...will post the lyrics soon...

anyways, today i attended this interview to become a PTD (pegawai tadbir & diplomatik), a government administrative and diplomatic officer post...(did i get that right? ) well, don't want to go into details here as it'll probably make me cringe..(ouch..) let's just say, i came out of the room with mixed reactions..didn't know if it should have been better or worse...anyways, met up with all my friends from the assessment centre..twas fun..all of them are really counting on getting this post...myself? i'm basically doing this for my mom...she really wants me to get this..it's supposed to secure my future or something (according to her)..it's really hard to convince my mom of the non-governmental aspect of my current job...the irregular hours, for instance...she wants me to come home early and all...so as to prepare myself for my future marital life...ahahaha...lambat lagi mama...my dad..he thinks all these is a waste of time...don't become a government servant!..i was warned..hehehe, but i told him that i'm just giving it a try...who knows..maybe its my rezeki, luck, destiny...geez...it can't be my destiny...i'm not born to be a government servant!!!

well, at least i got the day off from work...muahahaha..told them i had to take an emergency leave to balik kampung...luckily there weren't many questions from them...also felt like i needed a break..seems as if there's nothing to look forward to, 'cept for weekends...hmm..what to do this weekend? well, currently very, very broke...so...not much then, i guess...it's my bro's n dad's birthdays this weekend, so might go out to look at birthday presents for them or dinner...we'll see...

a dear friend invited myself and a few friends for a game of volleyball on sunday...EARLY....hmm...what do i know about volleyball??!! my knowledge is limited to a certain japanese drama they used to show on RTM in the eighties, Moero Attack..haha, wonder if anyone remembers it? they were playing volleyball with certain skills that requires some kinda sommersault (!!!!)...is that possible...? will find out this weekend then...IF i get up that early, that is....

this dear friend also paid me a visit earlier on...was nice of her...even tho' her boyfriend seems uninterested...hmm, makes me feel glad i don't have one of them boyfriend thing, haha...might not have enough patience...altho', should learn how to be more patient (note to self...)..but they're one sweet couple...i hope everything works out for them...right up to picking their granchildren's bootees...teeheheee...

feeling kinda sleepy right now...hmm...cranberries' dreams is playing right now...makes me wanna watch U've Got Mail...i love that movie..i can watch it over n over again...hmmm, perhaps tonight..... ;)

fresh from another round of blog-reading, i return to my own blog for some fresh input...what i can see from some of the blogs i've read is that they all seem to have this arrghh-inducing life...some talk about being suicidal, some about the headaches they've been experiencing, some bout their shitty life, being so stressed..yada,yada,yada...

and here i am thinking bout something morbid to write only to find that i have nothing to complain about, nothing to be mad about, nothing to hate...well, not at this moment..sure, i have the occasional grouses, at times i think life is being unfair to me, y'know the usual...but somehow..those problems seem so minor compared to the problems i might be facing later on in life...it also seems so selfish, self-centered of me to think those thoughts...

i dunno...should i give myself the pleasure to be depressed? or should i maintain my cheerful world so that nobody shares the sadness (if there is any at the moment)...for nobody has really seen me very depressed...it's always funny n cheerful me...well, most of the times anyway..i think they also see me as upbeat, always looking at the brighter side of things..(excuse me while i elevate myself to a higher level here, haha)...i guess i don't want ppl to see me sad...it makes me feel vulnerable...cuz i always think that there is a way out of any problems...i guess if i see ppl sympathizing with me, it's like there is no more hope, no more solution to my problems...

plus the fact that once i let myself be consumed by my problems, depression sets in and it'll take me ages to get out of it..trust me, when i'm depressed or mad..it's not a pretty sight at all...i can mope n merajuk for DAYS....i'll find myself snarling at ppl...and i will totally, totally be a pessimist...oo..that's not good..that's not me, haha...

so, today, as i'm in a better mood...i'm happier and i'll think more happy positive thoughts....especially after i had the cornetto love potion ice-cream for lunch...hahaaha..i'm supposed to be on a diet...but screw diet today...as i walked back from the mall to my office, licking my ice-cream..i suddenly wondered what a sight i must have looked..just like those primary shool children, eating ice-cream after school...not professional-looking i must say...

haha, who knows, maybe someone might get an idea for a new tv commercial! :)

i've currently developed a pastime during my office hours...and that is to read ppl's online blogs...it's a much refreshing change than to surf aimlessly, looking at online wedding photos, checking out my uni mates circles...i found out that there are many profound people out there, with deep thoughts and eloquent style of writing...so captivating...i remembered spending the whole afternoon reading this guy's blog (was my first read)...he's this really spoilt kid who has a penchant for drinking, drinking and more drinking...and so he spents his days in this hazy stupor...and yet, somehow, i couldn't seem to stop reading...riveting, really...

i used to think that this sorta thing really breeds exhibitionism...the need to place yourself on a platform to seek attention...however...i found out it aso provides a relief..a certain freedom..it allows us to ramble (like what i'm doing now) about ourselves, our lifestyles, our thoughts, opinions...just basically about everything...i also find that there are 2 major group of bloggers out there...one who expects that everyone will stumble to their sites, so proceed to tell the world what they have been up to....and the other one..who just needs the space to spill everything from their minds...

hehehe...wonder which one i fall into...

Captain & Tennille - Love Will Keep Us Together

Love, Love will keep us together
Think of me babe whenever
Some sweet talking guy comes along singing his song
Don't mess around,
You got to be strong
Just Stop, 'cause I really love You
Stop, I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

You, You belong to me now
Ain't gonna set you free now
When those guys start hanging around talking me down
Hear with your heart and you won't hear a sound
Just Stop, 'cause I really love you
Stop, I'll be thinking of you
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

Whatever young and beautiful
Someday your looks will be gone
When the others turn you off
Who'll be turning you on

I will, I will, I will, I will
Be there to share forever
Love will keep us together
Said it before and I'll say it again while others pretend
I'll need you now and I'll need you then
Stop 'cause I really love Ya
Stop I'll be thinking of Ya
Look in my heart and let love keep us together

a funky and upbeat song to start the day with...i'll keep it ringing in my head so i can get my mind off the pain i'm suffering with these new shoes...ouch!!

later...

note to self - don't forget to buy contact lenses' solution and pick up altered pants

i love mary janes! they remind me of little girls in colourful dresses, and bobby socks with ruffles playing with a skipping rope...hehehe. and with that thought i went and bought myself a pair to wear to work.. (!!!)...huh? how ironic! nyways, plus the fact that when it was the craze some years back, i wasn't able to get myself a pair...now that i am currently employed (altho' not handsomely paid), and own one of the devil's toys (the credit card, heehhehe)...i am now able to make purchases of those things i could only dream of..teehee...until the statement comes along that is..haha..
btw, it wasn't just reckless spending...horrors of horror, i found a hole in my work shoes!!! what a perfect excuse to give the plastic some exercise!
hey..those holey shoes are my badge of honour...it is a symbol of my hard work and determination..i mean, i wouldn't have dream that when i start working i'd be traipsing all over the city on foot instead of driving in a comfortable air-conditioned car, waking up at dawn and arriving home after dusk, bracing myself for the sun, rain, haze, dust...for those were my first working shoes for my first job...for almost nine months it has endured all kinds of torture that a lady court shoes could possible have...during those months, i have walked back and forth everyday on hard asphalt, pebbles from construction sites, and uneven pavements....i've walked in the rain, splashed in the mud, let ppl step on my shoes (unintentionally, of course) on the train, lrts and buses...it even has it's own wounds...god knows where i got them scratched ;p
well, it's ordeal is now over and service has ended...may it rest in peace...


now i have brand new shoes to torture!! muahahahaha.... ;)

Let me sleep
For when I sleep
I dream that you are here
You're mine
And all my fears are left behind
I float on air
The nightingale sings gentle lullabys
So let me close my eyes

And sleep
A chance to dream
So I can see the face I long to touch
To kiss
But only dreams can bring me this
So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He'll dream of me

I'll hide beneath the clouds
And whisper to the evening stars
They tell me love is just a dream away
Dream away (echo 3x)
I'll dream away

So let the moon
Shine softly on the boy I long to see
And maybe when he dreams
He'll dream of me

Oooohhh
Dream of me


hehehe..i love this song..it's taken from the movie Get Over It and sung by Kirsten Dunst..didn't know she have a sweet voice..really nice...and, thus bring on the new day...and a lighter mood...i hope :)

i have been rendered speechless...when i develop a crush, i'd like to find out everything about the person..just about everything..so i checked out this guy's online journal..he has one also..and after reading it...i just..was just speechless...i just don't know what to say..he is so intelligent, creative, witty...the things he writes about..his choice of words...his poems...what goes on in his cute almost hairless head...i was almost reduced to tears (there i go again, being an insufferable romantic ;) )..and above all...his faith in Islam...his love for Allah..and his devotion, his praises, counting his blessings...he's truly one in a million...i don' think i would ever come across such a wonderful person...i could go on and on...
which is why...well, apart from being totally emotional, i also suffer from having an inferiority complex..i don't think he deserves a person like me...and i don't deserve to sway myself with wishful thinkings...therefore...let this crush remain as a memory kept within the deepest and most sacred folds of my heart..never to be let out..and only to be taken out to cherish and remembered once in a while...i'm very grateful to Allah for letting our paths cross, even for a very short while..for letting me reinforce my faith in something which i have gave up and lost faith in a while ago...for restoring my belief and hope that that there are many like him out there...
i shall leave all these now to the hands of God...

today's weather is a welcomed change compared to yesterday..yesterday was all gloomy, the sky was gray and it rained in the morning...seems like it's affected by the SARS...i haven't experienced morning rain in quite a while so it was kinda nice...but the weather seems to be reflected in everything..i felt everything was going slower...my officemates were much quieter and i didn't get any forwarded emails at all!! turns out that my mailbox was blocked and when i opened it this morning...there was 41 unread mails..! shocking that was...

*smile factor* - my cousin told me that the guy said i looked vanida imran-ish (!!!) was that a good thing or what? doesn't really matter, actually....*drifting, drifting.....*

i haven't experience these feelings that are rushing through me today for such a long, long time...the thrills of a new crush...and the uncertain future...and all the hopes and dreams that comes along with it..as i've mentioned before, i'm an insufferable romantic...hehehe, as well as an eternal optimist...may tomorrow bring new blessings...

Good night my someone good night
Sleep tight my someone sleep tight my love
True love can be whispered from heart to heart
When lovers are plotted they say
But I must depend on a wish and a star
And as long my heart doesn't know
Who you are

-from Ally McBeal-

i think everyone should watch kuch kuch hota hai or ada apa dengan cinta at least once in their lives...only a pure cynic would not be slightly touched by the stories...the idea of love lost or opportunity missed..i read somewhere that the most precious thing that we can never recover is time...how ironic it is that a person would delay some things to do only to find that the best time to do it would be the present...i know that this sounds corny, but heck, it's the truth...there are times when u'll be kicking urself for not doing somethings earlier on...i guess i could relate to that when i watched those movies...plus, unfortunately i'm an insufferable romantic...my darling ex-housemates wonders how i could actually shed tears after watching ally mcbeal...actually, it's beyond me too :)

Dreams...
Dream, dream, dream, dream,dreeaamm...
Dream, dream, dream,
When i need you,
in my arms,
when i want you,'
and all your charms,
whenever i want you,
all i have to do,
is dream.....

Last night i met this wonderful guy..a friend of my cousin...she wanted us to meet up for such a long time...i didn't want to, cuz i'm like this shy person, hehehe...and i feel uncomfortable meeting up with ppl who would probably have some kind of expectation before they see me...she thought that we have lots in common, and that we might click..so we decided to meet up at a&w last night...at my first glance, he was just this normal guy...but when we started talking, i find that he's extremely nice and friendly, exactly the qualities i want in a guy...well, actually, what everyone wants in their significant other, i guess...he was also soft-spoken, but not in a shy way...something that i rarely find in the group of guys that i normally meet...and he made me feel,i dunno, so comfortable...i could actually chat in a non-nervous way..haha...plus, he has this really nice smile...not the kind that melts you, but the kind that makes u want to smile back..*sigh* heheheh...
well, physically, he's not bad looking either...he would be, what my friend ferrah would describe as, MY type of guy...she's good at describing my type of guy, hehehe...we sat next to each other at a&w...with my other friends...and all the while, over root beer and waffles, i was thinking...i'm falling for this guy...
i wanted to know more about him, find out what he's really like...he seems so intelligent in a non-threatening way, hehehe...unfortunately, he's going back to uk where he's currently studying...and i guess it would be a while before i could see him again...if i see him again...
so, till then....

For hearing my thoughts,
understanding my dreams,
and being my best friend...
For filling my life with music
and loving me without end...
I do

i found the quote above on the internet..i thought it sounds so beautiful...

awwright!! got a prez for her already! got her a cute russ teddy bear from aseana..quite a bargain actually..so, next would be preparations for her party!!!!! it's supposed to be a blast! lotsa ppl...good food (supposedly)...a deejay..(if he shows up)...and our surprise presentation, hehehhehe....can't wait to see her face when we flash those images!

so i'm off to klcc to get my friend a birthday prez..wonder what i should get her..? some accessories should be nice..we'll see..i'm going alone tho' ...as colleagues from work have things to do...outie for now

hope the surprise that we're working on for her will work out nicely...dunnolaa...what's with the projector, and notebook and locating the power plug point in her hhouse, checking out the wall on which we're gonna project her images...such hassle!! and in a short time too!!!!! ....eeee..hope it can be done...please, please....

and its a sunny morning...looks like a start to a sunny day..hope it won't be too hot tho'..am sorta preparing for a dear friend's birthday..getting my aunt to cater for the meehoon, thinking of what present to get her? wonder what she would llike this year..? for the past few years, i have been accustomed to bringing her to the malls and asking her what she wants so i can just buy it off the rack...*sigh* those student days...hahaha, so carefree, and so much excess time that we could devote ourselves to the leisure of window shopping everyday...well, provided that the mall is near the uni...we were lucky that we're kinda near town, so that wasn't our problem...

i think i'm getting the hang of this...i'm sooo buta it....

i wonder how this thing works...

And it's a rainy day...my first blog entry starts on a rainy evening, and i am waiting to go home...still stuck in front of my pc in my office, listening to the sound of the rain outside...why, oh why of all days....just when i was all set to have a nice walk to klcc and buy myself something...