Nepotism at its very best

Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
gonna make it allright but not right now
I know you're wondering when

- Nickleback's "Someday" -

Newsflash!!!
I actually typed out my Yahoo email id at my Blogger id field before logging in!!! eekkss!! that shows how LONG i've neglected my blog!

eeps..and i did, did, did have so much to tell...well, normal laa, i think too much sometimes...but today's topic will be as the above...

Meaning of NEPOTISM:
Pronunciation: 'nepu`tizum
Definition: [n] favoritism shown to relatives or close friends by those in power (as by giving them jobs)

*i could prolly get soo in trouble for this, but i just feel like taking it out on my blog..*

So this is what nepotism feels like...i've been a product of nepotism for the past 4 weeks, and surprisingly, i find it quite different from what i expected...short background of my situation: i was called in for this job by my relative, who needed help..therefore, i maintained my stand that i did not ASK for a favour, nor was i begging for a job *i was in need of one, but i was also relishing staying at home*..another point to consider, i never thought of going into this industry, but i was summoned by a relative (henceforth will be known as Wonder Woman, as names have to be protected, and noo, i'm not sucking up!!) to assist during their busiest times..hence, i became a product of nepotism...i think, by way of the above definition...

i've always thought that nepotism breeds people who are complacent about their jobs, hence, they are laid back in the office, have no problems with appraisals, do not have the desire to move forward or change, etc...what i find myself doing is, *without trying to sound like a pompous lass in tight knickers*, is trying to adhere to WonderWoman's high standards...i try to anticipate what she needs, but i find myself falling short every time..i feel so inadequate, and dumb at times, cuz i can never seem to provide her what she needs at the time she needs it..so, everyday is an endurance test, to see if i can reach above the standards that is invisible to me...i try to perform as well as i could, just so she wouldn't even think that i'm enjoying this post that was given to me based purely on our relationship..*she does not have any access to my experiences before*..WW does not comment on my performance, well, not that i know of, but most of the time i wonder if she ever regretted taking me in, every day...it makes me feel insecure, and mostly, very, very inadequate...just like the people/staff she always complains about...

*sigh* at least, it teaches me to be diplomatic in rushing people...

oh, and i wonder if i'm destined to be a garang person later in life, as i was
trained by a few stern-no-nonsense-i-eat-people-for-breakfast type of ladies..hmm..is it God's way of telling me that one day, i might turn out like them?

there are plus points to nepotism on my behalf...being almost a PA to the head of the department, i have learned a lot, not just about the company, but about the finer details of managing people and information, beside other things....and its great to be in the know, when other people are still wondering about the changes or decisions made by the management, and i admit, i am a little bit confident of myself in doing my tasks, knowing that i have certain authority on certain things, so it makes it easier to ask for favours, and to appear a teensy bit superior..

*muahahahhaha*

and i've learned to laugh, laugh, laugh at blunders, scoldings, misunderstandings and other mishaps that has happened to me and my team...funny kan? WW taught me how to do that..and i'm always in wonder at how she manages to put aside her feelings to get work done, and how she can never stay too mad for long..and juggle her own tasks as well as managing us, and at the end of a long day in the office, go home, cook and entertain her family..

another plus minus here would be the frequency of me meeting up with the CEO and other management people, when it seems a lowly Executive like moi, would never even get to see his face once in a month *just like my previous employer*...but working closely with the executors of the management, means getting sucked into the vacuum of worrying about things, getting worked up and emotional, not to mention staying up and working on Deepavali, and getting work-related call and sms-es in the middle of the night...

*sigh*

Do i want to get a better job? of course i do! i have HUGE dreams, don't u know? but i guess, it wouldn't help my ego if i were to advance to a higher post elsewhere, with a cushy paycheck, and short working hours...it's going to inflate like mad! i understand i have a Masters degree, and i shouldn't be working for peanuts *trust me, i'm earning less than what my brother is earning, and he only has a diploma*..but maybe i'm naiive *or just plain dumb* enough to think that i should work my way up, bust my ass like mad, and maybe, get somewhere at the end of the day...*earn my Dato'ship*

i guess my huge, huge, huge dreams will just have to wait...

p/s: and to people i've neglect as far, i'm so, so, so sorry..i have no excuse except work-related ones, and my sincerest apologies is all that i can offer..

p/p/s: one stress-buster tip: go watch "Eloise in the Plaza" on the Disney Channel (Ch 61)..its the best!

Make mine a mixed cup!

He wear no shoeshine
He's got toe jam football
He's got monkey finger
He shoot Coca-Cola
He say "I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free
Come together right now over me

- Beatles' " Come Together" -

i am sooo sleepy, i only got 3 hours of sleep last night, and i'm wondering how long can i doze off in the Bilik Rehat before anyone notices my disappearence, hehehe....

at this moment, no one's around to look over my shoulder and sibuk2 near my cubicle...oh yeah, i have a cubicle..finally! i've always wanted one, just to kind of have a feel of what sitting in a small enclosed space feels like..granted, mine is not the cubic-type, but it seems comfortable...well, if not for the bunch of files at my feet which belongs to the department...

i've had quite a number of reunions lately:

1. The Standard 6 reunion - in conjunction with a certain ex-classmate's short stay in Malaysia before resuming work as a HOMO *haha!* in the UK, we had a tiny gathering at a certain Beans outlet in Taipan..i was in charge of sms-ing everyone, but i've lost most of the numbers..so the people that turned up were very few, only 6 of us..there's my partner-in-crime, the other doc quack, the UK doc, the recently-engaged auditor, and a surprised-engaged chemical engineer...surprised because, hey, she's never met the guy but they're engaged...biasalaa kan dunia zaman sekarang...but it was nice hanging out, and gossiping...which reminds me, the tall one has summoned me for a spot of yumcha, so kena pi organize for that one...

2. The reunion with the UK Hip Hop Album Cover Gang - in conjunction with Raya, one of the member of the Hip HOp Album Cover Gang (will be known as PHH from now on aka Perasan Hip Hop) opened her house for us to barge in and finish up her food, and taste her creamy pasta ..yes Afti, she MADE creamy pasta, the world suddenly feels lopsided :p ...of course, the male members of PHH couldn't resist sakating moi, *and made me rush all the way from KL lagi tu*..but another member was MIA..cheh..but that was a fun gathering as the photo moments will later attribute to the PHH changing its name to PPC: People Perasan Cun! hahaha...btw, the male members of PHH are now sporting taller hairdos in a garish shade *macam share bottle hair dye je*, sebatu boleh nampak sabar! jelaa...and one has lost so much weight, cheh! and they actually dug up our yearbooks to compare pictures!! oh, the horrors!hanging around them reminds me of the very, very short time i spent with them, playing cards, going for makan, cooking breakfast and bancuhing tea, movies and generally mengumpating the guys who were soo nice to have melayan-ed us for a span of 4 weeks *sigh* those were the *very short* days...don't think i'll be having as much fun with them anymore...

3. The reunion of the Long Lost Roomie! (family included) - so the Roomie decided to come over to our humble home to deliver my stuff that arrived with her shipment...it was great to see her, and i'm now missing the days we spent hanging around in that far, far away city...nevertheless, Nasi LEmak Lentok was mentioned, as well as the hunt for a certain dude that looks really good short, with an electric quitar hanging down to his knees *sigh*..the family were nice and friendly, it's nice to be able to put voices, movements as well as characteristics of faces you've been staring at on top of your tv for the past one year..oh, and i'm reunited *reunion lagi* ngan my fleecey tops, especially the candy-coloured one, which was my first purchase from Primark, when i could hardly believe it costs less than GBP 5! and my first, one and only white wool turtleneck..and my mom got reunited with her trinkets from her trips there as well...

4. The Sunday Reunion with the Kenari Girls - aah, the one where we seem to never stop eating, talking, and annoying people in Secret Recipe..hah! who do they think they are??? we should make that outing a weekly thing, although i'd prolly think 500 times before going out to Midvalley on a Sunday afternoon *shudders* i've turned into a homebody now, complaining about tolls and parkings :p yummy food, good company, juicy topics maketh a great Sunday afternoon...

5. Oh and reunited once more to the visuals of a certain hunky-dory-can't-take-my-eyes-of-you piece of meat in a red shirt and khaki pants....*sigh*..don't worry, he's unattainable, therefore, i shall not go on a mad psycho spree and drive up to his house tengah2 malam just to see what it looks like! :p

btw, cousin dearie if you're reading this, the guy with the janggut *haha* says hie..and my friends think you guys are soooo sesuaii *he's got very, very minimal janggut now, trust me*!! *cheeky grin* can i do anything to speed things up??

btw, my weekday life is now a glamorous waking up at 5.30 am, working till god knows what hour, standing for a very2 long time on moving vehicles, and kissing my pillow goodnight...tv? what tv? adik beradik? ade adik ke? nasi? ape tu???

here's hoping i'll get a decent meal tonight..aminn....

P/s: No darlings, no open houses this year..my mom is quite adamant on that :( so, Nana dearie, when can i go crash your house before you balik to the land di bawah bayu nie? :)

My head feels woozy...

'cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter
does it matter?

- Sarah McLachlan's " Adia" -

i've finally finished reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons, and Da Vinci Code...i must say that i was pretty intrigued, and like Idlan, would like to go cari the Temple Church in London the next time i get there, insya-Allah..however, i find that Angels and Demons is a better read than The da Vinci Code...maybe because i read Angels and Demons first (atas nasihat Idlan jugak), and had high expections for Robert Langdon's next adventure...or maybe i'm just attracted to the illustrations in the previous novel, and da vinci code did not have any attractive symbols in it, hehehe..anyhoo, both are good reads..i now understand what it feels like to be a conspiracy theorist *not that i am pun* and why i'm drawn to movies such as Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Goonies, Jins Shamsuddin's Bond-like Hong Kong thriller, and the likes...but never, never the new Bond films with Pearce Brosnan..kurang kick laa...

one thing i noticed about myself is how i would anticipate events to avoid myself getting hurt *top most priority* or disappointed *almost sharing the top-most spot*..i do this whenever i read mysteries or crime thrillers..for example, i've started reading Patricia Cornwell's Body of Evidence a few days ago, and my pattern of thoughts is echoing that of when i read Dan Brown's books...which is bad, cuz i'm basically spoiling the whole book for myself..tsk...

another glaring example was when me and my housemates watched Kal Ho Naa Ho *hindi movie laa, got shah rukh khan one*...i guess it was because we were fed with the same type of Hindi fare over the years, that we tend to predict what was going to happen..and that was what us girls were doing throughout the whole movie..sampai penat2 guess...in the end, even though it was rather predictable, but the twist and turns in the middle of the movie was what surprised us..hmm...quite a menarik movie, not as typical as the other Hindi movies...

i'm back to my book-reading-on-public-transportation days...trying to read on a crowded LRT is a nightmare i tell you, especially if you're standing in front of someone who has forgotten his deodorant and have his arm high above him, gripping the railing....or, when you board the train before a particularly busy stop i.e. KLCC and Masjid Jamek..suddenly, your whole body just contorts because everyone is rushing in..i thought i was gonna have a relatively crowd-free ride yesterday memandangkan lotsa people are still on leave, tapi those on leave..pergi KLCC! acck...and although we left home early today to go to work, with my mom going, oh, you're gonna get a seat on the LRT today cuz you're early and people tak balik cuti lagi..i still had to stand..well, for half of the way :)

oh, btw, i took the monorail yesterday, which was a first ever since i got back..i've totally forgotten about the monorail's existence, until someone pointed it out to me..cheh...there's a station near the office, so i wouldn't have to walk as far...however, i think the fare's quite expensive! not to whinge about money, but if you're saving your pennies, then you'd prolly understand...i used to complain about the difference of fairs between stations, and my mom would go, berapa sen je tu!! but the sens would add up, and unless i'm earning a substantial pay, i can't afford to close one eye..oh well, the exercise (walking to and fro) is suppose to do me good pun...

Have a flu-free day :) *think i'm developing one*

Updates of Raya

Ketupat dianyam penuh teliti,
Rumah dihias indah berseri,
Maaf dipohon tulus ke hati,
Salam Aidilfitri daripada Dalie..

Few updates:

- eve of Raya, the bakar lemang session quickly turned into a sleeping marathon, whereby 3 full grown men, my dad and my 2 uncles, plonked themselves on our pondok floor and snooze the day away...nasib baik the lemang turned out beautifully...we're thinking of opening up a lemang stall next year *grins*..oh, and i learnt how to anyam the ketupat..altho', err, i don't actually remember how to do it anymore...whoops..

- unfortunately, the Father wanted to sembahyang Raya in shah alam, therefore, the people at my grandma's place were lemang-starved and had to wait till all of us arrived...

- fun, fun, fun with the cousins and relatives, even though what we did was just take customary photos on our grandma's porch, ate raya cookies, slept the afternoon away, and went beraya-ing in the rain...with my heels squishing into the mud at every step...oh, and i never fail to appear with a tear-stained face every Raya morning..cheh..

- funny thing tho, when i stepped into my grandma's house, a cousin of mine started singing Ezlynn's "Hie Hie Bye Bye" ..realised that hair was reminiscent, but of course, not the same...had to endure the song throughout the whole day..padan muka korang this year i tak kasi duit raya, muahahahha,...

- surprisingly, this year, my collection was still substantial...another muahahaha...when my brother took out the packets he intended to distribute among the cousins, another wise guy of a cousin took a thin book from dunno where and started following him around and fanning him and calling him YB...

- nope, apparently Erra Fazira was not back in the kampung this year..not that i ever planned on going to visit her..

- never, never, never wear underwired strapless brassiere and a corset under a tight tube top for more than 12 hours..your lungs (and tummy) would so sing you praises..TRUST me...

- i've one tiny cousin running around calling his duit raya "receipt"..as his dad didn't want him to learn about having money, just yet...

and that was just on the first day....

the second day was spent a little more dignified-ly..for the first time ever, i stepped into my next door neighbour's house, got a glimpse of their son who has the reputation of being good looking *not THAT good looking pun, hmmpph*, visited 2 other neighbours i've never met, all within walking distances..but we took the car...the four-wheel to be precise...i can just imagine people looking at us getting into my dad's car, with all our kasut and books and magazines, as if going on a long journey..as the car backed out of the drive and started to move, it also started to grind to a halt..as the first destination was rumah orang sebelah..cheh...belum pun leave the road our house was on, we were back home as someone wanted the toilet la, someone dah sakit kaki nak tukar kasut la, someone left something laa...

but visiting my mom's relatives after that has always been, and will always be interesting...you see, my mom's relatives are pretty gempak but low-keyed people..well, the ones i met that day laa...the country's economician, an overseas-based artist, a funky granny, and loadsa caucasian looking people...me, my brother and my sister were basically there to ogle..and to smile at them once in a while...no laa...i think being close to relatives is something that's losing its appeal in today's world...i wish i was close to most of them, close enough to hang out during weekends, have dinner parties, and basically chill...being of a certain descendent and acknowledging it is also quite important, in my own opinion..i mean, if we lose that identity, who are we? we're then just the same as the next person, in a sea of millions of other people...i'm sure some Chinese people of the Khoo clan would agree with me..

btw, i am in the office, alone..and i just got back from a loong lunch break with an ex-colleague..i can't believe i had lunch at one of the lunch places i vowed never to come back to more than a year ago...*sigh* such is life...

i know, i know, lame poem..but what other words could i use to rhyme with my name?? apologies to those who got them :p

Go ahead, be merry, its the Raya month... :)

To err is human, to forgive is divine

Selamat aidil fitri
Kepada saudara serta saudari
Setahun hanya sekali
Merayakan hari yang mulia ini

- Saloma's "Selamat Hari Raya" -

.

In the hustle and bustle of my daily lives, i've almost forgotten the fact that RAya is upon us, and i have yet to send out any Raya greetings, or meet up with my dear friends before they leave for their hometown...aack..shoot me...i'm on a forced leave today *bless the boss* so i have me time on my pc to blog...

Therefore, i'm taking this opportunity to wish everyone (who's still in the office and who still have their Internet access) ,

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI, MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

May your Raya be surrounded by your loved ones and filled with happiness. I'd also like to take this opportunity to ask for forgiveness from everyone, for any wrongdoings, or if i've hurt anyone's feelings by my writings or what i've said or done..we're only humans, and we do make mistakes, therefore, let's treat this as a chance to wipe our slate clean and to start anew, building better friendship and relationship with everyone around us so we may emerge as stronger people...

I'd love it if you guys could come to my house for Raya, but my house is not celebrating Raya this year..but should you wish to, please do not hesitate to let me know..i am, of course, expecting invitations heheheh....

So, thanks for being the most wonderful audience and have a great Raya!!

*skipping off to buy new Raya shoes*

Where has my semangat Raya gone to?!


Indahnya sungguh di hari raya
Ramainya orang bersuka ria
( 2 X )
Adikku manis cantik bergaya
Bolehkah abang ikut bersama
( 2 X )
Usahlah abang membuang waktu
Mari menuju ke rumah bonda
( 2 X )
Sanak saudara sedang menunggu
Di hari mulia bertemu mesra
( 2 X )

- Hail Amir & Uji Rashid's "Seloka Hari Raya" -


i ADORE Hari Raya...i'm one of those who can never get enough of the Raya songs, who will go out of her way to pin up all her Raya cards, who will *but not before complaining* fill up the gasoline for the tiny pelitas, who would badger my mom to bake cookies *at least 4 different macam* and who just loves the whole festival...

but all those said above has not repeated itself this year...its really sad..i still love Raya, but what's with tiny barriers here and there, i realised as i get older, Raya will never quite be the same..oh sure, the festive air, the lovely spread of customary lemang, rendang, ketupat, kuah kacang and tons of raya cookies, the going rounds to relatives houses, and the cheesy Raya shows on TV will prevail *hopefully* for a long time...

but the tiny things mentioned up there will be missing? why? well, firstly, i have not received a single Raya card this year..i'm not complaining tho, i am bad with my correspondences in the snail mail form...in school, i'd buy bundles of Raya cards and distribute it around to all my friends, and get them in return..but as i left school and the many friends i made, i find that the circle of new friends made that would make my raya card list, has become smaller..i do not know why...but it doesn't feel as meaningful enough to distribute Raya cards..furthermore, i think i'm plain lazy, which is no excuse, but yeah...however, i do have wonderful friends who keeps on sending me Raya cards even after i moved ,and when i'm abroad...*i should really make an effort, tsk*

The raya cookies and pelitas? well, remember my mom who's quite a formidable woman? well, if she says the house is not fit for Raya, makanye, tak beraya laa rumah nie..*sigh* and no amount of persuasion and " don't worry, i'll sponsor the tepung, gula and telur!" will make her take out the baking tray...*whispers, plus, i think she's discouraged with the almost-new oven which burnt her cookies 2 years back*..back in Subang, i'd line the pelitas on our fence, and it would look so dreamy after sahur...but what's with the lashings of rain we're experiencing lately, tercabut pulak pelita2 tu kang..we do have the modern bamboo ones, but i dunno how long that'll last..speaking of the rain, i have half a mind to wear bright yellow PCK boots for beraya-ing on Raya pertama in kampung...

altho i might not be celebrating Raya as how i use to, there are newer traditions to welcome..my dad, being the eldest among his siblings, with a renewed ambition, lotsa time on his hands and a kebun to match, have take it upon himself *and the family* to do the bakar lemang thing..apparently, it was quite a hit last year, that i heard we're bakar-ing about 20 batang buluh of lemang this year..yay!! taht should be fun! sape2 nak tolong bakar lemang, dijemput hadir...sape nak lemang, bawak buluh sendiri ok...and my nenek already put in the order of the rendang to go with it, so after the last sahur, we'll be sweating it out in our tiny kebun..should be interesting...

i may not be as excited as i was the previous years, but looking around in my office, with Raya cards dangling from the ceiling, and Siti's melodious voice in the background, singing all her Raya songs, various mono and polyphonic Raya tunes coming out of handphones around me, i couldn't help getting melancholic la pulak...

*content sigh*

oklaa...if i've nothing else to say in the next few days reaching Raya, i'ma just gonna post Raya lyrics to all my favourite Raya tunes, starting from the one at the top...

Have a good day folks :)

Can so many things happen in one week?

Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be Perfect

- Simple Plan's "Perfect" -


Apparently they can...this time last week, the only burdensome task on my mind would be deciding what to have for berbuka *hence, proving my cousin right when she says when people who are used to working take 2 weeks of vacation, this results in their IQ lowering slightly*...and today, i have numerous people to call, a few officials to talk to, and have not been home for berbuka in 2 days...

*eleh, baru 2 days dah complain*

ladies and gentlemen, i am now employed! *takes bow amids thunderous applause*

it actually happened in a very short while...i registered with an employment service last Friday, had great berbuka session with my UNITEN friends at Tupai Tupai on Saturday night *please refer to Mr Alfonto for a one line summary of the momentous event :p, went craazzyy at the fragrance warehouse sale *bought 3 items at really low prices*, accompanied my dad on Tuesday *can't remember what i did on MOnday*...when all of a sudden on a hening Tuesday evening, i got a call from this lady asking me, "You boleh start besok tak?"..."Err, boleh..."...damn, there goes my vacation...when i told my mom about it, and the possibility of coming back late, she went tak payahlaa gi!! ehh, pulakk...but when i had difficulties waking up early on the first day aka menggeliat sepuas hati, she went, padan muka, sape suruh nak kerja....ceh...sangat the supportive...

so, my last weekday night rendezvous was spent with the girls at Korean Seoul BBQ and carrot cake at Bangsar later...

the job, so far, alhamdulillah, is quite interesting..i am attached *albeit temporarily* at this err, company in KL..in 2 days, i've assisted with a Press Review, had a meeting with the CEO in TPM, called numerous shopping malls, smiled a lot at the staff here, pretend to mingle around the staff and Press, ahd 2 sumptous buka puasa buffet...

and apparently, there's another one coming tonight...

but i'm not complaining...i'm learning a lot here, and as i might not be here for long, i'm going to try to learn as much as i can...i no longer come home from work with a sour face and bad mood, i can *kinda* wake up in the morning without groaning *much*,alhamdulillah..all's good...

considering the fact that my new office is a stone's throw away from my previous one :p

updating in the office here...will try to sambung at home..if i've not passed out in front of the tv like the 2 previous nights :)