Tick Tock

I feel that lately I have been ungrateful. Take for instance, just now, during a family dinner. We were at Gurney Drive, surrounded by countless food stalls, and I have just finished a plate of Char Koay Teow. I turned to my mom, and told her, I’ve tasted better.

And proceeded to look for a halal bowl of assam laksa to appease my appetite.

I should be grateful that my family is comfortable enough to go on a vacation, stay at nice places, have enough to enjoy the small comforts like having bubble tea whenever we pass a stall or buying trinkets we hardly need. And have yummy dinners such as I the one I had earlier.

I think I blame it on my increasing insatiable appetite. Not just for food, but for more out of life. At times, I think I have squeezed my life dry. I have experienced things that I have wanted to do, go to places I wanted to go and prolly on my way to being the person that I wanted to be, whoever that is.

But these days, I feel as if I’m standing on a precipice; deciding to be who, doing what, where.

I try my best to be grateful. I do think I have a lot to be grateful for. Earlier this year I prayed that 2010 will be a better one, and God has given me a chance to play and perform in a band, be a bridesmaid for a good friend, spend more time with my family, take a beach vacation (albeit with the family) and a pretty awesome birthday with my close friends and family, with great presents, some of which I prolly don't deserve.

But somehow, I will keep wondering; should I just accept this life right now, or throw caution to the wind for another one that I have no idea what shape it will take.

At the end of the day, no one, but yourself is responsible for your happiness.