Reeling myself in.

In a way, I need a change
From this burnout scene
Another time, another town
Another everything
But it's always back to you

- O.A.R.'s "Shattered" -

Yesterday I sent out a message to my closest friends, asking for suggestions on how I should celebrate my birthday this year. Last year I was knee deep in my cousin’s wedding preparations, and since this year it comes with its own mini holiday, I thought of doing something a little extra special. Plus my parents are not big on celebrating birthdays and since those two monkeys have gone, we just don’t celebrate anything anymore. Except for nightly chat sessions. Yeah.

Thank you for the replies people. Among them are:

Booze party
(Spelled boose yer, coming from someone who’s leaving to work for an international organization. I shudder at the thought of editing his reports, like the snob I can be.)

Foam party
(yeah, from the Shhboy, what else would I have expected? *rolls eyes* he’s currently going through a mini depression, so his already weng mind just got elevated to a new state of weng-ness)

Bbq party/ Poolside party/ Bbq-poolside party
(Thanks to the gorgeous doctor who recommended this and offered her place lagi. However, am not the bash throwing type, especially if it involves cleaning up sans my runaway maid)

Semua party, party, party. I think I’m more of the sopan, open-houses type la, I don’t comprehend the fun factor of foam, booze or pools. Although I did google the swimsuit that Miranda wore in the SATC movie (because kalau nak bergaya, I would want to look like that, minus the urrm, fuzz :p) because I loooooove it! It’s a Norma Kamali Bill swimsuit that costs USD 300 plus a pair *gulps*.

Some gems included:

Go for a short holiday: Bali, Phuket and even Kelantan was mentioned. I did log on to the relevant websites and nearly passed out at ticket prices and started to knock my head on the walls for being dumb enough to make plans earlier.

Go for a nice dinner with dancing or live performances, karaoke and movie: Hmm, tame ;) but very doable.

Pamper myself at a spa: Not sure if this constitutes something special enough, but a lovely idea nonetheless.

So, I conjured something up. Nothing much, just an evening out in the city with my BFFs (idea masih in frameworks ye). Till the Diva dropped the bomb.

He won’t be around as he’ll be attending a course.

There goes my birthday celebrations.

*sigh*

I’m sorry for not including anyone else in, just that I think people with families might want to spend time with their families instead of me. Yup, self-esteem at an all new low again.

I guess, lately, I just feel a little suffocated. I need to get away for a bit, but it doesn’t seem feasible. As all things seem unfeasible when you can’t think straight for annoyance.

Then again, when I think about what’s going on in Gaza at the moment, I feel ashamed of myself. People are fighting for their lives out there, and all I’m concerned about is celebrating my birthday?!

I still have no idea on what to do during that mini holiday, though. Last year I spent it repenting, haha.

However, there is this “attractive” idea that a senior colleague presented me yesterday, which entails working non-stop till mid-February, serving the country in the office and all that. Tempting, no?