The Battle against the W.E.I.G.H.T.
How do you numb your skin,
after the warmest touch,
how do you slow your blood,
after the body rush,
how do you free your soul
after you've found a friend
how do you teach your heart
it's a crime to fall in love again...
- Jann Arden's "Insenstive" -
i just realised that i'm not able to copy and paste anything on my blog anymore...arrgh! now, i ACTUALLY have to type out the lyrics that i want to post...that just sucks, man...i wonder if i actually have the patience to type everything out...how do these people existed before the invention of the copy and paste buttons??!! necessity is the mother of invention then...altho', in Blogger's sense, it was necessary to NOT exclude copying and pasting..now we actually have to think up of something to write, instead of copying and pasting...
and i found such nice things to posts today....
today marks the 4th day of fasting for me..yups, i may be hungry, and moody, but i'm determined to lose the 4 kgs i've gained ever since i came back from Spain...not only have i realised that being slightly slimmer than current requires patience, self-restraint and discipline, i have also realised that its so much easier for me to starve than to expect myself to put on my running shoes, or swimming goggles...
yes, the shoe remains jogged-less and the goggles are collecting dust after that one session, but i am not a motivated sports enthusiast...as in, i don't jog around my neighourhood whenever i think my face is rounder than usual, and i don't play sports at all...well, when i was much younger i played the badminton and tennis, but that was waaaay back...i think i am more into group-oriented activities, something where someone can scream "CEPATTTTTT!!!!!!!!" into my ears, cuz that's the only way to get me to move my lazy arse...a much quieter but equally bouncy alternative, would be aerobics with a bunch of 40-50 year old ladies...
when i was in uni, i was determined to lose weight..to this day, i can never pinpoint who, why or what made me got started on dieting...but that's what i did...i cut portions to all my meals, i tried skipping chickens and had fish instead, i only had soupy noodles for dinner...at first, it was not easy, especially being surrounded by people who are not really concerned about their weight as they were flawless, or else do not care much about it...i think one turning point was when i missed lunch due to an Insurance lecture, that i realised, hey, this isn't quite so bad..it's just angin!
then again, there's also the help of a bowel-movement-inducing tea which i consumed religiously for almost a year after that...which lead to many sleepless nights in the first few months, but i gradually learnt how to sleepwalk my way to the loo at godly hours, without waking the whole house up...but man, the first time, i was basically awake, in a foetal position on my bed for a long time...and that was after drinking half of the required portion....
i managed to lose only 5 kgs, but it seemed as if i lost a lot...i could fit into clothes, and i could actually feel myself thinner than before...it was such an ego-boosting period for me...and it lasted..
till i lost most of my self-control after a period of fun, fun, fun in the UK visiting friends who would feed me with more than enough food to feed a family of five...ok, i'm exaggerating, *who asked you to makan so banyak? blame it on other people pulak*
and so, ladies and gents, its back to looking longingly at food i can't have and actually contemplating lacing up those running shoes for a brisk jog around the park in front of the house *how convenient, park depan rumah, but buat dunno aje*...
wish me luck :)
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