Wuss is my middle name...

Heaven, I'm in heaven
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

- Louis Armstrong's and Ella Fitzgerald's "Cheek To Cheek"-

i love babies! i do, i do, i do! i just got back from viewing Kak Elin's handsome prince, and i am smitten! i want one, how? i want one to hold and to look at, right now, minus the hassle of marriage and the husband bit, of which i'm not prepared for....i can imagine what goes through a mother's mind whenever she gazes at her baby...she wants her baby to grow up well, and healthy, she wants to give him all that she can give, she's willing to sacrifice everything for her baby, she wants to shield her baby from any kind of harm, and even thinking about a smidgen of it, would bring rage and hurt to her heart, she wonders how her baby is going to turn out in the future, she's figuring out how she can provide everything for her baby.....she looks at her baby's closed-lidded eyes, while he/she is sleeping, and she wonders, how is it that she can love another so much.....

i think i've developed a biological clock ...its small yet, but it's ticking faintly in the background....i do hope that the noise will not deafen me as i'm not ready, even to be thinking about this...did you know that i started crying when i saw a picture of a newborn on somebody's blog (someone i don't even know!)?? man, what is wrong with me?? chalk up 3 nights in a row of tears shedding! my optometrist would probably be proud of me...he complains that i don't take care of my eyes enough, and recommended blinking for about 20 minutes everyday to reduce the drynes..haa, amik..banjir terus..that should keep my eyes moist for about a month, shouldn't it?

so, that's one for the baby, one for You've Got Mail...and the third was for SATC's final episode..yups, ladies and gentleman, i'm now a confirmed wuss! it started out just fine at first, but towards the end, the tears just came and didn't stop flowing..arggh!!! i think i have this tear-affinity to final episodes laa...the last time i remembered doing that, was during Ally McBeal's final episode, when i shocked Cik Nona Kita, with my inconsolable sobbing over the phone...and, when Rory graduated from Chiltern, and gave her valedictorian speech, thanking her mom, i burst into tears (even though. i do not like her mom!)...

arrghh! *gives self a shake* enough! enough of this melodramatic, overly sensitive, WUSS i'm becoming...i can't be sensitive, i don't like cats! people who loves cats are sensitive people! *stereotypical me* i'm a lean, err, make that flabby, mean, fighting machine! MUAHAHAHAHA !

oh, btw, to those who caught SATC'S last episode, wasn't it great? i thought it was...i thought it ended perfectly...and right before my eyes, the girls have matured and came a full circle..*sigh*...and it made me want to start earning so i can own a pair of Manolos!

speaking of flabby, mean, fighting machine, i am now engrossed, abso-f***ing-lutely (Bigg's words..*sigh*) immersed in my latest read, A.J Rochester's "Confessions of a Reformed Dieter: How I Dropped 8 Dress Sizes and Took My Life Back"...it doesn't sound promising, but its absolutely inspirational...its actually a real life account of an Australian writer/performer/comedian/film-maker/singer/single mother/and in her own words, goddess who had gotten so large that she claimed her arse is another region/country...and how she lost weight through this regime of eating and exercising (hmm, sounds verry familiar, doesn't it?)..all within a year...she was in between jobs, and to save her butt, she made a deal with the producer of a show she was hosting, to film her throughout the whole weight-losing programme...btw, she weighs 109 kg in the beginning...at first, i thought that it's going to be a very predictable read, but it wasn't...i just kept on going cuz i know she's human, and she has her own weaknesses, and strength, which she didn't mind revealing...e.g. one entry would be a motivated one, the next entry a frantic, craving one, another entry woud see her resolved, but of course, didn't do anything about it e.g. well, at least i thought about it!....a case of schizophrenia to some, but i can totally relate to it...you just want to see how she goes on and overcomes her craving and all the boundaries...and, most importantly, its BELIEVABLE....its not a lose-5kg-in-a-week-and-i-can-fit-into-a-slinky-top-and-micromini-and-i-got-a-handsome-and-buff-date-and-we-shagged kinda story, but a humourous but poignant on, that makes you think, and reevaluate the things that has happened to you or your life, and keeps you on the edge..better than Starsky and Hutch anyday, i tell ya....i recommend it to anyone trying to lose weight, or anyone looking for a good read...the fact that i found this book in a bargain bookstore, prolly tells that this book might be deemed rubbish by some certain reviewer or reader, but to me, its like discovering a hidden treasure..woahh, heavy tu...heheheh...

btw, reading that book really motivates me, but it also makes me hungry, and then i would cram food into my mouth..how? hmm, let's hope it works better on someone else...oh, but one thing that i want to pass from this book is the rule: Recognise, Challenge, Distract.....Recognise where your weakness is coming from, Challenge it with a new thought e.g. U are better than this, u don't need this, etc...and Distract it with a new thought or doing something else..to me, the operative word that would work most with me here is Distract...and i like the thing where you keep a list of the things you really, really like doing/ want to do, and whenever you're hit with a craving, pick one from your list and do it...do it..do it....(ala, Starsky & Hutch, eheheh)

Apologies to Huda!! sorry for not making it to the games, i woke up late :p hehehehe...not a very good excuse actually, but that's what happened...sowwee! Btw, Good Luck for your test! :)

oh yeah, my best friend got an audition for AF2! while the rest of Malaysia is away, voting, she's prolly in the Astro building, with her notes (she's having an exam the day after), along with the rest of the other contestants, practicing her song...hehehe..but i have faith in her, she doesn't need the practice....i've already "chup" the spot of PR person should she become a big star later, hehehe....*sigh* if i were in Malaysia, i would have slept over her place the night before, we'd prolly have dinner together, then do dumb sleepover stuff in her room e.g.makeup, scrabble, etc, and have long chats...and drive together to Astro the morning after, and i'd be there when she auditioned....she's been singing for a few years now, taking part in her club's karaoke competition, (of which i drove back from a holiday in PD for) and winning them...a few competitions in uni...and now AF! regardless of how cikai people think AF is, and what an embarassment it would be regardless of whether she makes it, i'm still proud of her...

finally, i've added another link, June&Jurey's...a happily married couple studying in Sheffield (betul kan??) whom i've met when i first came to London, err, Jun, that is..Jun is really nice and friendly, and we seem to click then..hmm, haven't seen them in a loong time...hope to be able to meet up with her again :) datanglaa rumah!

and Aiy, kalo u baca nie, i gave Fauziah the number to Sister Mariam rumah sebelah for that room..hope it was of help...sorrylaa, phone giler, die suke hati nak receive call ke tak, schizo jugak my phone nie...kalau i marah, die elok, kalau i buat biase, die naik kepala pulak...heheheh...anyhoo, if she decide to move in, i'll have myself a jogging partner! err, i think...ehhehe...

signing off, its Dalie "Wuss Sappy" Farizan..have a good day, y'all....