Burned Out Star

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

- Smash Mouth's " All Star" -


Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 40%
Visual : 60%
Left : 47%
Right : 52%


Dalie, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional.

Got this off Prof Sadin's site...if you guys are reading this, why are you still here?! read hers...it's waaaaayyyyy excellent....

*COUNTDOWN TO THE LAUNCH OF HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX : 7 DAYS**

alhamdulillah...got through my first 2 papers today...hence the update..dunno how long this will be..we'll see how far my fingers will take me tonight..


this week has been, i think, one of the most challenging week of my life @ work...not the job itself, more of other people's perception of you, how narrow minded some people can be when they judge you by what they don't like when they see you, by their own principles, which may not comply to others, at all time...i dunno what i am talking about now....let's just say that certain individuals i work with had stretched my patience and tolerance to its most elastic level...the words "Go to h***.." has been hanging at the tip of my tongue for several days already...and yet, never did i uttered them out loud, not even when i'm alone in the ladies, staring at my reflection in the mirror, wishing i'm someplace else....

maybe people would think i'm weak, or a pampered kid..but i know i'm not...when i first started out, i was convinced i would only last for a month...i was convinced that i would either be unable to withstand the pressure from the job, or that i'll be bored of it...it came as a surprise to me that when i looked back to those moments, it was actually 10 months back...to me, that's a sign that i'm tougher than i thought ..i know of colleague who switch to 3 different jobs within the same span of time...

so, what am i still doing there? obligations and conscience...hmm, not substantial enough reasons...i know, i know...i just can't bring myself to do anything about it...then why whine? because i've had this moments of reflection before which i dismissed as a weakness, and then, had wanted to prove to myself that i can stick to this job, and go through the rumble and tumbles, emerging later as a much stronger person...only this time i feel emotionally and physically drained..stripped of my dignity countless times, rendered dumb and confused....

i know that i'm stronger now...heck,i had this smile plastered on my face and this pleasant voice emitting out of my lips when my mind was actually churning and a scream was just at the back of my throat...i pride myself on not wasting tears for those times where shedding them would be an automatic reaction...i kept this cheery facade and judging by my blog entries, i even managed to humour some of my readers (thank you lady tasia and lady nona...made my days! )...it was until friday night, when the week was over, when i had finished my prayers, and was getting ready to study for my exams the next morning, that it all came to me in a rush, and i couldn't stop them saltwater drops from pouring...

i can badmouth these people, spread rumours and damage their reputation...but i won't...i can't be bothered and i need to conserve my energy for much more important things...its tiring thinking about them...and i don't deserve to do that to myself...

have more things to write but i don't think i'm able to form coherent sentences tonight....i'm happier today tho'..the exams were ok, Thank God i did those test papers, it helped a lot...met up with classmates from the induction courses....so walked out of IBBM with a spring in my step..earlier on had the Sunrise at Coffee Bean (yum, my favorite! ) then off to meet some very dear friends for a little get together session (hehe, and to discuss a little business joint-venture)..had great dinner with the folks, prayed, read the Quran a little and now all calm....think i'm finally gonna watch Auntie Mame (sorry cousin, took a long time to finally tengok it...will give feedback in due time..hehehehe)...will return with a more uplifting entry next time...promise!

** 2 down, 2 more to go...**

just want to leave this little something i got from a forwarded email...if you have managed to read this entry up to this point,without actually nodding off to sleep, then read on for just a little bit...thank you :)


Chance or Choice?


When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time, that's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to,that's not a choice, that's chance. Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this) is not a choice. That's also a chance.The difference is what happens afterwards. Will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to turn this into a concrete relationship or just a fling.


If you decide to love a person, even with his faults, that's not a chance.That's choice. When you choose to be with a person, no matter what, that's choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, cuter and richer than him or her, and yet, you decide to love them just the same, that's a choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make. There's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: "Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." We came to the world not to find someone perfect to love..... BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly.....