2 things happened yesterday...

First, a dear relative of mine passed away...he was my mom's cousin's husband..altho' he was not directly related to my mom's side of the family, it seems that he is one of us...he was a great gentleman..yup, gentleman..he loved his wife and family very much, loved kids, loved life and always seem to have the vigour and passion for it...granted, that i only see him once a year during Raya but i could sum all those description after years of consistently visiting him for Raya...the previous one was the last that I saw of him...i regretted not visiting him again after that as he was ailing...he finally succumbed to the illness yesterday..after 81 years...i paid my respects last night to the family...and it was very, very sad...his wife, who had always been dependent on him, was there...looking lost, and had lost a lot of weight, seemed shrunken...you see, she had always, always consulted her husband on almost everything...even as they were preparing the food for the guests, the words came out of her mouth before she even realised it : "lauk nie macam mane.."...nearly broke my heart...
he was a great man..and it was evident how much he loved her...portraits of him and her are all over the house...pictures of their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were what mostly graced their walls...his wife, my mother's cousin, has always been a little weak and have a bad knee...he tended to her needs and is always, always by her side...i've never seen one without the other...even at his old age, he's been known to carry her whenever she's unable to walk...
whenever there was a dispute within the family, he would be there to help settle it...a peacemaker...he always held parties at big hotels..birthdays, anniversaries...as a matter of fact, he had always held anniversaries and had faithfully call upon the Malay veteran singer Julie Sudiro for all celebrations, that they composed him and his wife an anniversary song...such was their love...over 50 years....
i guess things will never be the same...i can't imagine going over to his place and not see him again..a distinguished man, with snowy hair and fair skin, eyes that crinkled up at the corners when he smiles, a ready smile every time..

oh god, i'm leaking....

Pak Ngah, you will always be remembered in our memory and prayers...

moving on...

got a really bad news yesterday...don't really want to talk about it...i guess it's meant to make me a stronger person...to stop being too much of a dreamer and to start being more practical...maybe there's a hikmah behind it...that's what my mom said...i know she knew i was sad about it, but can't do much about it...so God, please give me the strength, murahkan rezekiku, if this was not meant for me, then i pray for Your Grace to grant me what's best for me...Amin..

and today is a brand new day...bring it on....